


A Collection of Drabbles

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party (Band)
Genre: Aging, Alley Sex, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Analingus, Artists, Awkward Flirting, Birthday Presents, Biting, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Character Study, Child Abuse, Clothed Sex, Conversations, Crack, Crossdressing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Double Penetration, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Face-Sitting, Facials, Family, Female Alpha, First Kiss, Firsts, Flirting, Fluff, Food Kink, Foot Fetish, Gender or Sex Swap, Hair Kink, Hair-pulling, Hand Kink, Hand Worship, Humor, Implied Feelings, Implied Polyfidelity, Infidelity, Insecurity, Kid Fic, Knotting, Lactation Kink, Light Bondage, Minor Violence, Mommy Kink, Multi, Parenthood, Pie, Post-Coital, Pregnant Character, Public Sex, Ren Fairs, Romance, Rough Sex, Seduction, Self Confidence Issues, Sex at the Movies, Shoe Kink, Slice of Life, Stargazing, Switching, Threesome, Tickling, Viscera, Vomiting, Wet & Messy, cozy sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 10:27:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 101
Words: 26,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short ideas and tiny drabbles that aren't long enough to exist as their own stories.</p><p>In the first chapterlette, Ninja Brian gives Danny a special birthday gift.  A very bloody, very special gift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Present for a Party - NSP Danny and NB Gen

“Is there still pie in my eye?” Ninja Brian wiped a handful of whipped cream from his burning face and took a glance at Danny, glaring as he shook his head. 

“No, friend, that’s no pun – who knew that exotic dancers have such great throwing arms?” He shook his head. “There ought to be a rule – no angry brides or friends-of-brides at bachelor parties.” 

Danny threw himself into his overstuffed velvet-lined evening chaise, sighing dramatically. “There go our Friday plans. Maybe we should cruise to Venus and see if any of the enthusiastic lingerie models in need of our sexpertise?” Brian shook his head. “But I’m so bored!”

Brian’s eyes widened. With a lightning-quick gesture, he produced a small box. 

Danny took the box and smiled. “Oh Brian – there’s no need to give me a gift. After all, I am an ageless Unicorn Wizard and…” He raised an eyebrow and shook it. “This is bleeding all over me.” He very carefully unwrapped it and produced the present.

“You got me a new pair of sunglasses. AND an eyeball!” Danny squashed the ocular vessel to his chest. “This really IS the best birthday I’ve ever had!” He wrapped an arm around Brian’s tense shoulders. “Thanks, old buddy!”

The corresponding judo throw that took Dan across the room was so worth it.


	2. Tug Job - FlapBang - Suzy/Dan - NC-17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So why does Dan like having his hair pulled so much?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Porn Battle, Prompt: Dan Avidan/Suzy Berhow, hair kink, pull

“So why do you like having your hair pulled?” 

“Search me,” Dan shugged. He was lying on his belly and she knew that was leading somewhere interesting when he rolled onto his back and let his dick point northward. “Because it hurts, but not too much?”

Suzy grinned, reached for his cock. The handjob was gentle, and he was totally unprepared for her to drag him toward her still-wet sex by the hair. “If you make me come hard, I’ll pull it all fucking day.”

That was a challenge. And it just so happened Dan was excellent at challenges. And incredibly godlike-good at eating pussy. She rode his face until she fell, shivering, off of his prone form.

Dan rolled her onto her back. “C’mon, babe. I need you like, right now or I’m going to wreck these nice sheets you bought me.”

She waited until he was balls deep inside of her and on the verge of orgasm before yanking his head back, exposing his throat and sucking on his salty, pale skin.

The pain jolted from Dan’s balls to his head and he immediately filled her with heat, with fire.


	3. All Apologies - CommanderBang Dan/Holly NC-17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is very good at apologies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Porn Battle, Prompt: Game Grumps, Dan Avidan/Holly Conrad, favors, apologies.
> 
> Based on that time Dan borrowed a sword from Holly and then broke it during the shoot for Dragon Slayer.

Bless Dan’s forgiving nature.

No, bless it, honestly and truly. Holly was incredibly thankful for his willingness to admit it when he was wrong. If it was brought up in a non-jerkish way. 

And saying ‘I’ll forgive you if you let me sit on your face’ was was about as non-jerkish as she could put it.

Minutes later she found herself squatting over Dan’s face as he lay on his back on her kitchen floor, staring up between her legs, unconsciously licking his lips. “So,” Holly said, leaning both hands back against Dan’s spare hips, her pussy squirming in slow, easy circles just inches from his lips, “are you sorry you broke my sword?”

“Super sorry,” he said, his eyes following her sex, a hypnotized man.

“Want to show me how sorry you are?”

“Fuck yeah,” he hissed.

She grinned and lowered herself to his mouth, filling it with the taste and scent of her.


	4. Big Cat, EgoBang, Dan/Arin, NC-17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hasty blowjob leading to a messy facial in the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Porn Battle, Prompt: Game Grumps, Dan Avidan/Arin Hanson, facial

“Okay,” Dan said, pushing Arin back against the wall. “Back up. There’s no way I can get my mouth around your dick if you keep squirming around.”

Arin was almost in pain. “Please, babe.”

“Shhh,” Dan soothed. He kissed Arin’s belly, the soft, fleshy parts of him that were half-exposed thanks to their hasty make-out session. He tugged Arin free of his pajama pants, wiggled his brows and took his dick down his throat.

Dan was as good at sucking dick as he was at nearly everything he did. He was a total fucking God. Arin grunted and fucked Dan’s face – Dan knelt still and deliberately fixed Arin with a lambent, overheated look of passion. He knew how to fix him. He knew how to drag him over the edge.

“Oh Fuck. FUCK, Dan!”

And quick as a wink, Dan pulled Arin’s dick out of his mouth and jacked him off, splattering Dan’s face with a series of thick, white streams of come.

They paused. Arin’s belly heaved. His sweaty red face was buried in his own forearm. “That…is a lot sexier in porn,” he complained gently, rubbing his face clean against the inside of his sleeve. 

“Sorry, baby.”

“It’s more than OK, big cat,” said Dan, standing up. The kiss was a little sloppy, but hot as hell. “Y’mind helping me?” he asked, taking Arin’s hand and pressing it to his crotch.

Arin grinned. “Aww yeah, babe,” he said, and slipped weakly to his knees.


	5. Totally - IC Ninja Ship Party NC-17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It like, totally happened like this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For porn battle: prompt: Ninja Sex Party, Ninja Brian/Danny Sexbang, desperation, glitter, beej,

It totally only happened once (okay), and that was because Brian was really horny. 

As Dan tells it (just ask him), they were trapped in their luxurious intergalactic fortress with no women for miles. Dan was wearing his new cape. He looked fucking AMAZING. 

No wonder Brian totally jumped his bones, like, super hard. He broke several springs in Dan’s favorite mattress and like two of his ribs trying to beej him (long story, super long). Dan had to perform six hours of 

There’s a six inch scar on the back of neck from the blow Brian gave him the first time he told this story. Or maybe it’s from a knife fight. Totally a badge of victory (and not from Brian face-fucking the hell out of him).


	6. Watercolor (EgoFlapBang) (G) (Sequelfic)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan, Arin and Suzy decorate the baby's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A midquel to my fic [Words for the Very Young,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6456535) inspired by an anon prompt on my [Tumblr:](https://devilgate-drive.tumblr.com/) _poly parenting fic with everyone decorating the baby's room._

The wall was - with some effort - finally pure blue again. Arin wondered for the twentieth time why he’d let Ross alone with it and a set of primary paints, but at least there wasn’t a giant dong with googly eyes telling him he sucked there anymore. 

If it had been his room it would’ve been hilarious, but not the kids’.

Dipping a brush into the array of tiny canisters of multicolored paint he’d just purchased, Arin started drawing the broad outline of an Apatosaurus on the furthest wall, with rocks, canyons and a jungle floor to follow.

His flow of progress was interrupted when Dan tromped up the stairs panting, carrying a pile of baby blankets they’d gotten at the shower Holly had thrown for them. Suzy had been napping for an hour, and Arin would check on her soon, find out what she wanted for dinner.

“Holy shit, what did Ross do?” Dan asked.

“I’ll tell you after I finish. Wanna help?”

“But I can’t draw,” Dan pointed out, tucking his chin onto Arin’s shoulder.

“So? You can color,” Arin said. He dunked another brush into a sandy brown shade and handed it to Dan. “Fill in the ground while I set up this.”

Dan did as he was told until curiosity got the best of him and he noticed the over-sized object Arin was hooking onto the baby’s crib.

“What...what does that do?” Dan kept shooting the baby monitor furtive looks, as if he were afraid it would explode.

“Just a newfangled monitor. The baby makes noise on one end and you hear it on the other.”

“Oh, I understand,” Dan said. Then, to prove his point, Arin started beatboxing into the monitor. His improvised rap involving dinosaurs and eggs and may have mentioned huge green balls. Dan all-but keeled sideways into the wall, laughing loudly.

The fun was broken up by his still-tired looking wife, standing in the doorway. “...Why are you beatboxing into the monitor?” Suzy’s voice cut through the air.

“I was just practicing a little!” Arin said, dumping the receiver into the crib as Dan kept howling.

“For the baby to start spinning tables?” Her other lover offered her a hand and she sighed. “Dan, I’m pregnant. Not dying.”

“Oh, I know...you can’t pop this far into it, right?” 

She narrowed her eyes at him and pelted him quietly with the stuffed pig she’d been carrying.

Arin wiggled his fingertips at Suzy, urging her to sit down so she could rest her feet on the stool he’d been using. “Babe, you start drawing a teddy bear and I’ll finish the dinosaur.

“Okay.” 

The results weren’t bad for a half a days work, and there was plenty of room for Ross’ secondary (and much better supervised) try at contributing.

Only half the paint ended up on their clothing in the end. Which in Arin’s estimation was a new record.


	7. Flyer (Egobang, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin doesn't normally worry that Dan will up and die on him.
> 
> Keyword: Normally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For saiq2004, who prompted "I Almost Lost You" for these two at my Tumblr.

To love somebody is to harbor a constant fear of losing them. It is to weave around unsteady, on feet that never find the smooth purchase of earth, and never know when the soil will turn to sand.

Arin thinks Dan isn’t much of a risk. He’s grown out of his impulsive period, and he’s entirely sober. But he flies everywhere, further and more frequently than Arin does, and every time he leaves Dan at some terminal his pulse races with fear. 

Fuck. What if it’s the last time they ever say goodbye?

Which is why his heart automatically speeds up when he gets home from SXSW first and sees Brian’s name flashing on his caller ID. He pulls over four miles from the house and doesn’t even get a word in before “Don’t panic,” Brian demands, his voice flat and implacable. “Dan’s going to the ER right now. When we landed the pressure did something to his ears because his head was clogged up...He’s in pretty bad pain. It’s his ears...”

“What do you mean?” He cups the phone closer to his face. Death flashes through his mind. “Jesus, dude, get him to a fucking...”

“Already on it,” Brian says quickly. “We’re going to patch him up and get him home. PLEASE don’t show up at the ER and cause a scene.“

What does Brian think he’ll do, throw himself at Dan at a time like this? “I’m already turning the car around. Meet you there.”

Whatever else Brian wants to say gets lost in translation as Arin throws the phone down and speeds cross-town to Barry and Dan’s place.

 

#######

 

Barry’s the one who ends up all but carrying Dan into the house when Brian finally pulls him into the drive. He looks awful; white as a damn ghost, his fever tamped slightly down and antibiotics coursing through his veins. Arin has to fight Barry to get his arms around Dan and when he does he almost drops him because his arms are shaking with pure fear.

 

Dan’s eyes are fever-bright, still, as Arin stubbornly carries him off to bed and places him carefully between the sheets. The change in altitude makes Dan’s eyes snap into focus, makes him look Arin in the face.

 

“Hey, I..” Dan’s croaking is interrupted by a kiss, sudden and fervent, pressed to his mouth. Arin tastes the sharp salt of Dan’s cold, the bizarre tang of antibiotics and tea, medicinal, soothing. Dan’s fingers spider outward in surprise before finding safety at the crown of Arin’s head; he can only offer a weak peck back.

His eyes are soft, sweet, when they part; he’s still Dan in there, under the sickness. He looks guilty, as if getting sick during the trip were his fault. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Go to sleep, Dan,” Arin says, and flicks off the light. I almost lost you, he thinks, but cannot say.

“What if you get my cold?”

Arin shrugs. “It’ll make me stronger,” he says, and settles down at the opposite end of the bed, vigilant, in case Dan needs him.


	8. Name (In-Universe NSP 6969 Fic, Kristen-centric)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She takes herself out of the narrative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In-universe for 6969. You have to feel a little bit sorry for Kristen...

You thought you’d live forever like this, in a world made of pure grey, without soul or context. You want to break free.

This is why you said yes.

There will be days when you wish you’d said no.

• 

 

You think he just misheard it when he mispronounces your name. You say it again but he’s beyond you now, in the stars, and unkind hands are pulling you back into the pile.

Does it mean so little, when you gave him everything you had?

• 

 

The world is like a child with a shiny toy. All limits gone. It takes awhile for the world to recognize what no means again.

You go out less and less. You hem gets lower and lower. You can’t even sit by the window without hearing a catcall.

You wish you weren’t part of anyone’s prophecy.

 

• 

 

You stop thinking about him after awhile. Stop going downtown so you won’t have to see the statue, or feel the ‘friendly’ touch of a stranger’s hand. Sex is as easy to win as a stuffed bear in a carnival now. You tell your daughter you remember when it was outlawed and she laughs in your face.

 

• 

 

There’s an inch of room for you left in the narrative and you seize it. You write your name in neon across the history tablets. But you’re more than a shared body. You’re more than a video clip.

Your name is Kristen and you never forget it, even if he has.


	9. Keep Talking (Egobang, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you really mean it when you said I was beautiful?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Sweetiefics, prompt: _Maybe some Egobang? Like Dan ad Arin cuddle and tell each other what they love most about one another?_

"Are you sure I'm not too heavy for this?"

Arin pops open one eye to look at Dan. His lover has tucked himself over his knees, the blanket he'd wrapped around himself draped over both of their laps. "Dude, you weigh like fifty pounds..."

"A hundred and fifty," Dan corrected him lightly, tucking his head onto Arin's shoulder. A sleepy peacefulness settled over them both; the day had been long and Dan was wiped out, between the moving and the video shoots and the conventions and the premiere planning he was barely conscious. Arin had practically carried him from his car to the house and deposited him on the sofa to watch an old movie on TCM. They'd stopped trying to follow the plot ages ago and had settled into a comfortable, half-awake hugfest.

"So did you really mean it when you said I was beautiful?" 

Dan sounds almost asleep against Arin's shoulder; he's almost afraid to respond. But the words came anyway. "Dude, you're like human sunshine."

"Oh," Dan said softly, as if he didn't really believe it. "Thank you."

"Seriously. You've got like, a nice voice and everyone likes you and you're nice to animals and you're ambitious as hell." 

He felt Dan's lips quirk against his shoulder. "And I have a super flat butt. You could like, write dirty notes on it." He pecked Arin's neck gently. "Has anyone ever told you how soft you are?"

Yes, and Arin hated his own softness but Dan said, "you're so nice to hold on to. And you're funny, and you're good and giving. And you have the nicest eyes I've ever seen. You're like, way pretty."

"...Dude..." Arin didn't know how he felt about that appellation. 

"Men can be pretty. It's the fuckin' tens," Dan said. 

"Mmmm...."

"And I wish I could draw like you." 

Arin couldn't stop himself from smiling. "We've been over this..."

"I know," Dan said. "There's a dozen different reasons why I love you, you know."

"I know."

And in spite of the insecurities they held locked within their hearts, it was a fact they both held onto, on a perfect night like this or the worst day of their lives.


	10. A Mighty Steed Named Aslan (Egobang, T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A post-coital Dan and Arin talk about rimming.

“Really, dude? You wanna talk about rimming now?” They’d just finished fucking, and Arin was loose-limbed and relaxed.

“Well,” Dan asked, peering down his body to stare into Arin’s eyes, “why not? You’ve got a hot butt, and that butt’s clean…most of the time. And you’ve done it to me and I happen to be an excellent with my mouth and, well…why am I trying to justify this? You’re going to totally love it.”

Arin pushed a sweaty hank of hair back. “Okay….just give me like a couple of hours, dude. I’m wiped out. And I need to clean up a little – I so wasn’t ready for the havoc you wreaked on me. I think I must’ve come three times in a row.”

Dan shrugged. It may have been their first time but he was very good at applying what he’d learned. “It was easy – you’re good at giving instructions. And you were the one who rode me like a lion….”

“No, like a horse or something.”

“A mighty steed named Aslan!” he announced, thrusting his fist into the air. 

That settled, Arin laughed himself to sleep against Dan’s chest.


	11. Pisces Aquarius Rising is a Very Good Sign (Commanderbang, G, Sequelfic)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's audience has gotten a lot smaller lately.
> 
> (Gratuitous fluff for SweetieFiend)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A tiny sequel to my fic The Present.
> 
> The song Dan sings to Sarah is, appropriately "Danny's Song", made famous by Anne Murray and Loggins and Messina. Dan would probably say he heard it in [this version.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ3M7DgBqA0), but he's singing it like [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FDcTyyXQb8).

Holly stirred against the pillow. She had no idea what time it was, but whatever the hour it was far too early, marked by the late blue light of pre-dawn.

She realized two things rapidly; Dan was not lying beside her. And there was a good reason for that – she could hear him singing over the baby monitor. 

Rolling towards it, she pressed her ear closer. To her surprise it wasn’t the familiar melodic tones of Rush that poured forth, but something much lighter and softer.

_”And even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you honey….”_

Holly smiled. How did he learn that one? Maybe he’d come across it during his youth; maybe he was a voracious consumer of music and he’d just managed to find it. Either way, he sang the lullaby that bore his name through until Sarah’s querulous noises stopped.

A few minutes later, Dan rolled into bed beside her, and Holly feigned sleep as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

“As the gigolo said to the actress, ‘I can tell when you’re faking’. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“It’s all right. I should have gotten her, anyway.”

“Nah,” Dan said. “I handled it.” He buried his face in her neck. “I love you, babe. Go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” Then, after a short pause, “Dan?”

“Mmm?”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone you know an Anne Murray song.”

“And that is why I love you.”


	12. Cuddle Up (Polybomb) (PG-13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian gets a little analytical about cuddling sometimes. Just a little.

“Arin, your knee is halfway up my asshole.” 

“I know, man,” Arin said lightly. He burrowed his sweaty face against Brian’s hairy chest. “If I had any room to move it, I would. But my foot’s stuck under Dan’s hip.”

“Not cool,” Dan said from the opposite side of Brian’s shoulder. “My hand and arm are pinned like, under both of you at the same time. I can’t feel my hip, anyway.” Then he reached over and started playing with Arin’s forelocks. 

“Gentlemen,” Brian sighed. “Why don’t you both simply admit that you can’t stand to be away from my aesthetically pleasing and comfortingly erotic bod? In short, I make both of you so hard you can’t stand to be without me for more than an hour. It’s all bonding hormones, it’s completely natural.”

“That’s true,” Dan said. “But it’s not going to get Arin’s knee out of your butt.”

‘It could be his knee up my butt,” Arin said cheerfully. 

“Don’t be absurd,” Brian yawned, wrapping both of his arms around his lovers and pressing himself close to both of them. “It would be expelled in a cloud of noxious air in two minutes. Now sleep.”

And, in a pile of drowsy limbs, they did.


	13. Yes (Table Ship, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normally this was fine. Normally this was the kind of sex play Barry craved, lying under her talented, playful, occasionally cruel hands. But this time...

She didn’t say anything before plopping herself down onto his lap and kissing his neck. Barry let out a muffled sound of surprise as she took his lips and kissed him with purpose, her fingers sliding through his thick hair and tugging hard. 

Normally this was fine. Normally this was the kind of sex play Barry craved, lying under her talented, playful, occasionally cruel hands. But this time...

Suzy let out a soft squeak as he flipped her beneath him on the couch, pinning her lightly to the soft cushions by her wrists. Wide eyes stared up at him curiously as the kiss broke.

 _”No,”_ he said once, firmly. She tilted her chin defiantly, eyes hooded, nearly a flat black slash against her face. But she arched her ivory neck, leaving it vulnerable to his beard, his mouth, giving him space to leave behind a daisy chain of hickies on her skin. Suzy’s chest heaved as he slipped down her body, lips caressing the tops of each breast before lightly sinking his teeth into the soft flesh.

She whined against the back of her hand but didn’t fight him, not even when he let go of her wrists and ripped her tank top down the middle, then sucked her nipples through the lace cage of her bra.

His teeth dug in and her belly quivered, moans floating through the air sweetly in spite of his roughness.

Barry’s teeth dug lightly into the soft part of her stomach, pausing at the waistband of her skirt. The black denim skirt had rucked up as she strained toward his touch. Barry was close enough to feel the heat pouring off of her body, to smell faintly the scent of her arousal. He knew the answer to the question he was ready to pose, but he needed her words.

“Yes?” he asked, looking up, eyes locking onto hers.

Suzy shuddered. Her hips lifted toward his mouth. _”Yes,”_ she moaned, and spread her legs.


	14. Bloblike (Ninja Ship Party, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even Brian has confidence issues sometimes.

“Bri,” Dan begged, charging into the bathroom to brush his teeth, “please stop. You’ve been staring in the mirror at that new grey for five minutes and I can tell you for sure –from my position and in my incredibly vast experience – you are as handsome as the day I met you.” 

“Oh please,” Brian muttered, squinting at his reflection and carefully trying to arrange said new grey back into the mass of its brothers until it looked indistinguishable from the rest of his locks. “You were high as fuck the day I met you. You probably thought I was an alien or something equally bloblike.” 

“You’re not a blob, either.” Dan wrapped both arms around Brian from behind, cradling him against his stomach. The difference between them – spare and rounded – made a unique picture in the mirror’s flat face.

Dan held him still for a long moment. Dan could feel Brian’s calm heartbeat and watched his steady gaze, taking the same picture in. “I’m really not?” Brian asked. He sounded vulnerable for a second. Almost delicate. Dan would have never connected those two words together and conjured his best friend’s face.

“No,” he said softly, and squeezed his hand. “Not at all.”


	15. Bam (Ninja Ship Party, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's just a little drunk. Just a little bit.

The bar’s doors swung open as Brian and Dan were ejected onto the curb. Reeling drunkenly, Dan banged into his lover, laughing.

“Oh man,” he slurred. “Did you see that guy? Bam! One punch and he fell on his ass.” 

“Daniel,” Brian said, shaking his bruised knuckles, “you swung for him and missed by a mile. I, on the other hand, kicked him in the throat while you spilled half a beer own his date’s dress.”

“Oh shit, that was a woman?” he laughed. “I thought it was one of those mannequin…things.”

“You’ll wish she was if they press charges,” Brian grumbled, straightening his blood-spattered teeshirt. When he looked up, Dan was giving him a barmy grin.

“I know whyyy you did that,” he grinned, roping an arm around Brian’s shoulder. “It’s cause you loooove me! You didn’t have to but you diiid just because he wouldn’t leave me aloooone!”

Brian winced as Dan’s heavy arm wrapped about his neck. “I’ll love you less if I get arrested. We should go.”

“M’OK,” Dan said. Then he paused, holding up an index finger. He then ducked into an alleyway.

Brian pretended to ignore the sound of Dan losing his lunch in the alley. Then, staggering slightly, he straightened up and leaned into Brian.

“Let’s go,” he said grandly, and managed not to trip over his own sneakers on his way to the car.


	16. Look At You (EgoFlap, E/NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's good at this

“Look at you.” 

Arin moaned behind his gag. Suzy took his lack of response as a positive affirmation as she assessed the beautiful To be fair, he couldn’t really look at himself. Suzy, however, could see every inch of her husband as he lay flat on their bed, tied to the headboard with black scarves, mask and blindfold in place. It was a beautiful picture.

As was his fat, twitching, throbbing cock. But she’d be making excellent use of that later. 

Her smile was almost sympathetic as she straddled his chest. On her way toward his groin, Suzy pecked Arin’s body, kissing her way down his chest, caressing tiny pink marks left behind by her flogger, little love bites on his chest. His nipples were still wet from her teeth and lips.

“You’re so pretty, baby. Such a good boy for mistress.”

She sprawled her thighs apart on either side of Arin’s head. He could likely smell how turned on she was – could likely feel her dripping against the gag, which she had to bend herself awkwardly in half to take off.

Arin heaved out a huge breath, but his smile was rapturous as she tossed it aside and slipped a little lower on the bed. “You’re going to lick me,” she said. “Every little inch of me. Are you up to the task?”

“Yes, b-mistress,” he breathed, staring at her sex spread above him, an inch or two above his mouth now, and glistening wet.

Suzy’s grin was devilish. She pressed herself down hard against Arin’s mouth, filling it, and he eagerly and impassionedly began to explore every fold as she fairly smothered him.

Suzy’s fingers slid down his body, cooing her praise, her excitement. 

Leaving a hickey on Arin’s chest of all places probably wasn’t a smart idea, but it went so well with the tiny palm print she’d slapped pale pink onto his thigh.


	17. Backflips (Holly/Arin/Suzy/Dan/Ross Implied) (PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly is pregnant in the summer, and it sucks.

“Lemme give you some advice, Suz – don’t ever get pregnant in the summer.”

Suzy cooed against Holly’s shoulder as the other woman lay back against her couch. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said lightly – secretly not trusting herself or Arin to stay on task if that time ever came. 

Arin himself sat on the floor rubbing Holly’s insteps, laughing at her remark. “I totally have six Ubers on hand in case you need them. You’re not suffering!”

“Arin, do you want me to tell you about my sweaty boob rash?”

“…Okay, you win….”

Holly, nearly at her ninth month, was grouchy and no one could blame her. Nine months pregnant in August in California was like being sentenced to purgatory. Her feet ached; Arin had just spent the past fifteen minutes rubbing them in the vain hope that she might make that pain stop. Her back ached; Suzy had spent an hour trying to work the knots out of it to absolutely no avail. 

The door to the Grump room burst open, and Dan entered with Ross and a vegan burger with sweet potato fries. “Got what you wanted,” Dan said, and she pulled the plastic sack out of his hand as she tore into the food. 

“Thank You,” said Holly around a mouthful of food. Dan sat customarily close beside her and Ross balanced himself at her back. She mowed down the meal and sucked down half an iced tea before she sat back with a satisfied sigh.

“So,” Suzy asked, “are there any good things about being pregnant?”

Holly looked at the gathered assemblage of people who loved her and smiled. “Yes,” she said. She took Suzy’s hand and pressed it to her belly. Her stomach shifted under Suzy’s hand, the kicking and rolling surprising them. The men looked on with curious interest as she said, “the backflips.”


	18. Mommy (Commanderbang, R)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re not taking this scene seriously,” she groused. 
> 
> “I and my boner are taking it with absolute seriousness,” he promised.

“But are you going to be good?”

That was a loaded question. Dan, even when he wasn't sitting bound to a chair by a pair of fuzzy handcuffs, was not particularly apt to follow the rules. “Nah. I think I’ll be bad.” He smirked up at her, the corners of his mouth lifting and his eyes lighting up. “Mommy loves bad boys, doesn’t she?”

Holly blew out a sigh, hand coming to rest at her waist. “You’re not taking this scene seriously,” she groused. 

“I and my boner are taking it with absolute seriousness,” he promised. “I can assure you that I’m completely tuned in to your whole scene.”

“Dan!” Her eyes were basically locked onto his crotch, and he considered that an excellent sign.

“I haven’t safeworded out!” Dan laughed. “That means all systems are staying go. All right, I promise I’ll be good. Cross my heart.”

Holly sighed. “You know,” she sighed, straddling his jean-clad knee in her sundress and apron, “bad boys don’t get treats. And you do want a treat, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Uh….I’ll…be good.” He was staring at the shape of her lips, feeling the heat of her pressed against his chest through the dress, all of it visibly affecting him.

Holly smiled, seeming nervous in spite of her earlier demeanor. “Now,” she said, and leaned in, “kiss mommy hello.”

He closed his eyes and took her lip between his teeth, as if he were biting into a delicious slice of forbidden fruit.


	19. Beholder (Ninjaraptor, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian is too old and mature to be an artist's model, obviously.

“I feel completely ridiculous.”

Arin peered at Brian from around his pad, eyebrow rising. “Is it the apple? If you want a pear we can switch it out.”

“It’s not the fruit, Arin. It’s the body. I look like a trashbag filled with mashed potatoes.”

Arin frowned. Brian occupied the couch, holding the apple before himself, trying his best to resemble a biblical object of desire. “That’s super harsh dude. You so don’t.”

“Yes, I do. Because I’m a realist and my eyes work. I’m old and you’re not.” 

Arin sighed. “Dude, you are…you’re…” Arin threw down his tablet and approached Brian. “You’re warm and soft and easy to touch. And you’re like, sweet, deep down. Sweet as honey.”

Brian’s lips twitched. “Remember you said that later,” he muttered. Arin pecked his forehead and returned to his tablet. But Brian didn’t complain again.


	20. Ticklish (Commanderbang, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did she agree to this again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the prompt: _... if it's not too kinky, could I get Holly getting tickled while she's being fucked? Thank you!_

“I don’t believe I agreed to…” she trailed off on a choked laugh as the tips of his fingers ghosted down her ribs. “This! Dan!”

“What?”

She blushed pink, glancing back at him though her bangs. “I admit I’m a little curious – why did you ask me to try this?”

“Well,” Dan began, pressing his open palm to her stomach and pulling her back against his chest. “I love it when you’re happy…”

“Yes?” She squirmed in his lap, trying to keep his dick buried where she needed it. 

“And when you laugh you’re super happy…” The tips of his fingers brushed the undersides of her breasts and she involuntarily giggled.

“Usually, yep…”

“So why not try to make you as happy as humanly possible?” Now he tried to tickle her clit, which was unbearably unfair. She almost squirmed her way off his lap.

And it was such a Dan remark. She let out a quiet moan and squeezed him again, resituating herself on his lap and letting his breath kiss her neck. “I’m not sure. Why don’t you show me?”

He was more than happy to oblige.


	21. Lies (Shared A/B/O-Verse Brian-Centric) (R)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian knows how to wear a mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the prompt: _An ABO verse fic - an Alpha pretends to be an Omega &/or an Omega pretends to be an Alpha._
> 
> From [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251) shared verse.

Brian learned very quickly what the proper protocols were. You squared your shoulders. You narrowed your eyes and kept them focused. You locked you jaw.

You growled. 

There were variables, of course; possessiveness was an important element. He learned to keep a hand clamped on his wife’s shoulder at all times when he was in public. He doused himself in hormones and had to peel the omegas from his sturdy legs.

Only his wife knew about his heats. Heats he stubbornly buckled down, gritted his teeth and just _got_ through them. How she helped him, sweating and cursing under her breath, enjoying every last second of knotting him.

Everyone looks at him and sees happy confidence. It’s a façade that’s won him respect. And one that very, very few people are allowed to see behind.


	22. New (flapbang, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His hands are weird. Why is she so fascinated?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the prompt: _Could I get some Dan getting his hands worshipped? Someone sucking his fingers, getting fingered, maybe having his fingers in his mouth while he's fucking them? Just general filthy stuff involving Dan's hands!_

“Cramp!” 

And his touch was gone. Dan had yanked his hand away from her, pulling his fingers out of her vagina, shaking them carefully. 

“You can’t be out of practice,” Suzy teased, crossing her legs and sitting up. She took his had between hers and started gently kneading them. “We just did this last week.”

Dan just winced until his muscles calmed under her touch. He didn’t notice that her touch had turned into a caress

“Whatt’re you doing?” he wondered.

She smiled. “You have really nice hands,” she observed. 

“What?” His face wrinkled up at that statement. “They’re all veiny an weird-looking.”

“No,” she insisted, lifting his hand to her mouth, licking the tip of his middle finger then, very slowly, downward from tip to base. Up and down; almost kittenlike. “They’re so beautiful. And they totally feel fucking amazing when they’re in me.”

It felt strange. Very strange. And then it veered abruptly from strange to arousing and his eyes widened. 

“You’re just saying that because you feel really horny,” Dan said wryly, his eyebrow rising. Suzy shook her head, sweaty tendrils of hair snarling against Dan’s palm.

She sucked gently on the tip of his finger and shivers rushed up and down Dan’s spine. “This…” he swallowed hard, “is really new.”

She bit the tip of his index finger as she laid back down, her legs spread. “C’mon,” she encouraged. “Fucking stick your dick in me already.”

Only Suzy would be so perfectly blunt with him. He did just as she asked.

And his finger didn’t leave her mouth until he’d come so mind-blowingly hard he’d seen stars.


	23. Afterward (Commanderflaps, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having sex in an alleyway is an extremely difficult activity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the prompt: _Suzy gets her face ridden by a very enthusiastic Holly. The end result - smeared up makeup, drool, the whole nine yards. Messy but happy sex!_

Having sex in an alleyway is an extremely difficult activity. The ground is cold and dangerous for bare knees. The walls tended to be rough and, under the worst of circumstances, slippery. Doing so in a skirt, your vision obstructed by the sex of another person’s genitals, it’s a dangerous prospect.

When Holly comes she bucks and takes the last of Suzy’s eyeliner off with a sudden gush of fluid. There’s only so much Suzy can swallow. The front of her dress takes a gush of fluid but Suzy dives back in until Holly’s legs stop shaking and she leans back into the wall with a sigh.

“I…” Holly pants, rubbing her eyes, looking like a princess coming out of a hundred-year trance.“I..huh…whew…” Suzy opens an eye. Above her, Holly rubs her blushing cheeks against her forearm. “Gah! I got you all sticky.” 

Had she? Suzy can’t form coherent thoughts. Her calves are halfway up the alley wall and her skirt has rucked itself toward her hips, bearing her behind. She grabs onto a loose brick jutting from the back alleyway and tries to do her best to get back to her feet. Holly makes several soft cooing sounds as she reaches into her backpack and pulls out several tissues. 

That goes a good way to drying Suzy’s face off, but it doesn’t help the stickiness much. “That was…” She’s still struggling for words like a zombie. 

“I know,” Holly kisses her cheek proudly. “C’mon, let’s get to a ladies room and wash up. 

Suzy reaches down and quickly pulls her skirt back into place. Holly brushes back her hair, pride still glowing brightly in her eyes. 

“I love you,” she says, dreamy-voiced.

Suzy grins, happy to cede control of the moment to Holly. She loves her too as the other woman cares for her. An she knows now she always will.


	24. Jelly Belly (Egobang, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please Stop Looking at Me Like That"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Based on that one video - Arin tires to seduce Dan with jelly beans.
> 
> The video is, of course, [This One!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6iqgR9ov_Y)

“Please stop looking at me like that.”

Arin was sitting smugly at the edge of the couch, having finally recovered his composure from the end-of-shoot jelly bean bomb he’d suffered through. Suzy had handed him a bag of Jelly Bellys as a reward for not ruining the couch and he had been sharing them with Dan in a vague attempt at getting their stomachs to settle. Which meant he’d been relentlessly teasing Dan by doing vaguely filthy things with whichever jelly bean came to hand. “Like what?” he asked, tossing his hair back and running a circle around the bean he’d selected with the tip of his tongue.

Dan winced and crossed his legs. “Dude. It was just starting to go away,” he said.

Arin ginned. “Maybe I don’t want it to go away,” He popped a popcorn flavored bean between his lips and rolled his eyes orgasmically. “It’s soooo good,” he groaned.

“Fuck, dude,” Dan groaned. “Come on, man. You’re killing me.”

Arin grinned, rested his head back on the couch. “So why don’t you come shut me up?”

Dan sighed and scooted closer, pasting his lips hard and quick to Arin’s mouth. The teasing back and forth made him tug Arin over and into his lap…

And then Dan pulled back, cringing. “You still…”

“…Taste like the vom bean,” Arin completed for him. He grabbed Dan’s hand. “C’mon, we’ll go brush our teeth. The fucking bjs out the wazoo!”

Semen and toothpaste weren’t exactly an ideal taste combination. But, Dan realized as he went along with Arin, it was definitely better than the combined taste of vom and jizz.


	25. Fluffy (Commanderbang, Shared ABO, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She knows how to make him feel like a man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Our shared ABO universe - Dan & his Alpha related insecurities. Possibly Holly yells at him about it again. -Theseus
> 
> From [This](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880) verse!

“Dan,” Holly sighed expectantly as Dan studied himself in the mirror. She tucked her hands to her hips and said, quite firmly, “DAN.”

“Do you think I should put some mascara in my beard?”

She squinted at him in total confusion. “What?”

“You know – make it look a little thicker so I’ll seem tougher?” She groaned and leaned into his back, burying her face against his skin. “What?”

“Dan, you’re perfectly handsome, very tall, very bright stringbean of a man. You are wonderful. Please, for the love of everything that’s good on the planet, stop wasting Suzy’s good make-up to give your face fluff more volume.”

He whined and she rolled her eyes. “Come on,” she wheedled, kissing the middle of his back. “Don’t make me give you a distraction bj.”

“Is that a promise?” She heard the tease in his tone and blushed. She wished he hadn’t asked.

“It’s a threat,” she said, giving his dick an appreciative squeeze and immediately spinning away, cheeks burning.

Dan picked her up – or tried to. They ended up a giggling, writhing lump on her bed. 

“Wish you had alpha muscle now?”

He grinned. “I’m strong enough,” he said, and kissed her soundly.


	26. Promise to Try (CommanderFlaps, Shared ABO, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly tries to believe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: More in our shared universe. Maybe something with Holly & one of her pregnant Omegas, trying to figure out what being a father means to her?
> 
> From [This](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880) verse!

Suzy’s six months to her due date. Six months to go, Holly thought to herself – and yet she has more pairs of tiny shoes this early in the pregnancy than any baby will ever need.   
Holly picks up a tiny Converse and rolls it over in her hand. There was a time when she presumed she’d never even have to think about baby clothes. A time when she’d planned on spending life alone with Ross and her birds. After what she’d been through she was fine with that prospect.

She’s someone’s parent. 

She’s going to be someone’s parent….

She wonders what she’s going to do. What if the baby likes lifting weights? What if it won’t listen when she asks it to blow its nose?

What if she takes after Holly’s side of the family?

She feels Suzy wrap an arm around her from behind. 

“We’ll be okay,” she sighs.

Holly believes that. Sometimes.


	27. Kiss and Tell (Polygrumps Shared, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is the first time the sweetest?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Our weird shared poly universe - the first time Holly kissed each person in their weird little family. Bonus if the baby is part of that group.
> 
> I don't have a container for this yet, but it's the same verse that Backflips and Growing are from.

**1: Ross**  
She is so young. They are so young. She’s wearing boots and a push-up bra and his fingers get tangled up in her wig. They giggle helplessly at the situation, and her face ends up buried in his neck.

 **2: Suzy**  
They’re drunk. Brian brought a bottle of saki to the space and they sip it out of little Dixie cups in the kitchen, getting merrier and merrier, fingertips brushing wrists and smiles getting wider.

Suzy’s almost shy when she bends forward to peck Holly on the lips. Holly almost thinks she’s dreamed it when she wakes up the next day with a hangover…wearing Suzy’s bra.

**3: Arin**

She’s wearing heels and make-up and a corset.

Suzy helps her dress for the occasion, puts her in this outfit and leads her proudly into the bedroom where their husbands wait.

She’s shy as Suzy falls eagerly into Ross’ arms. Holly can barely stand to watch the two of them. She can barely stop herself from leaping back at her gentle touch.

‘If you just want to watch, it’s cool,” he says.

But the way he’s looking at her – no, she doesn’t just want to watch.

She falls into Arin’s mouth and is surprised by his tender embrace, the caution shown, the love given.

**4: Brian**

She accidentally pokes herself with a needle and Brian, unsurprisingly, is the one who has a bandage and a kiss for her wound.  
He kisses the tip of her finger and the gentleness in him surprises her, rocks her, shocks her a bit. 

****5: Barry** **

She’s trying to teach him how to be comfortable around her birds and he finally makes a breakthrough, finally got Feathers to hop up onto his finger. 

The kiss is tender but completely congratulatory, and filled with a lot of love. 

****6: Dan** **

They are alone in a parking lot after a concert. Everyone else has gone home but they are together, in the warm summer light, sipping a single beer and singing old songs to one another. 

He pecks her lips. He blames it on the alcohol, blushes, apologizes. 

But she shakes her head, take him by the hand, yanks him tight and close and kisses him much harder than she means to. 

**7:**

She coos and whines in Holly’s arms; a tiny thing, almost birdlike, with wide-brown eyes and an auburn curl pasted down to her forehead. 

Dan is holding her, reluctant to give the baby over, eventually all but spooning the child into her mother’s embrace. 

“Ohh hello.” She realizes much later she’d used her bird voice on the tiny thing. “Aren’t you a sweetie? Aren’t you pretty?” 

The baby opens its eyes. Holly inhales the child’s scent, milky-sweet, as she pecks her forehead. 

“Do you think we should call her Doreen after all?” Dan asks. 

Holly smiles. “How about Glory?” 

And sunlight floods the room. 


	28. Beautiful Too (Commanderaptor, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's beautiful, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Commanderraptor? :3 Arin is visiting Holly and sketches her with her birds?

“Is this okay?” Holly extends her arm gracefully, trying to make sure Arin has all of the angles he needs. “I can move my arm if you need it.”

“Nah, this is fine.” Arin’s eyes dart up from the Wacom tablet, judging Holly’s tiredness, the way the white sheet drapes around her shoulders and arms. “Do you need a break?”

She automatically turned to Paco She cradled the bird in her palm and nuzzled his beak. “Do you need a break, sweetie? Do you want a little rest? Ooh, you’re so sleepy!”

Arin made a clicking sound to get Feather’s attention; he hopped up Holly’s pale shoulder, peering back at Arin with quiet uncertainty. He took the time to sketch the bird before handing the tablet over to Holly. “How’s this look?”

She took a moment to take the sketch in. The Holly staring back at her was not something recognizable to her own eyes; it was an ethereal creature, sitting with a small bird perched on the tip of her finger. “Oh…” she whispered, carefully handing the tablet back.

“Is it that bad?” Arin asked.

“No. I just didn’t expect to look like a goddess.” 

“Like uh…” Arin said nervously. He seemed to be sweating. 

“Rhiannon,” she said. He raised an eyebrow. “Rhiannon’s the Celtic goddess of birds.”

“Oh,” said Arin. “Do you like it? The question seemed to be a prayer more than an actual interrogative statement. 

“It’s beautiful,” she said shyly. 

“Shut up, you’re beautiful!” He seemed to regret the words as soon as he said them.

But they bloomed in Holly’s heart easily. “Oh,” she said quietly. 

Silence lingered between them for a moment or two. “I’m going to go fix this up…” he began.

She stilled his hand as he got up to leave, “you’re beautiful, too,” she said softly. Then, quick as a wink, she got up off the chaise with the birds, unable to confront the moment, the feelings lying raw between them.


	29. Techno Fear (Polygrumps, ABO Verse, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has something to say when the truth comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Our ABO world - the fandom's reaction to the news that Suzy & Arin are expecting.
> 
> [Verse](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F7724251%2Fchapters%2F17604880&t=OWYyOGJiNTQyMTEwNzkxZGFmMmNhZGYxY2RlYWYwZjI3NTk4MDE3Ziw4RVduOTVxQQ%3D%3D)

“Don’t go on the Subreddit.”

Holly paused in the doorway at Dan’s declaration. “It’s that bad?” A moan from Arin, sitting nearby. “I don’t even get a hello?”

Suzy rubbed her temples, sitting cross-legged on the couch with her laptop. “Tumblr’s going crazier, but in a good way. Do we have an address to send stuff to? Do we even want to risk that?”

 

They had several friends who had had babies and accepted stuff from their fans. “Let’s do a second PO Box,” suggested Arin.

 

“That’s not going to stop the Subreddit from asking who knotted Arin,” Suzy pointed out.

 

“Eh, let them guess,” Arin said. “I don’t give a fuuuck.”

 

“You’re going to give a fuck when you check your google alert. Oh God, one of us is going to have to do a press release…” Suzy trailed off as Holly and Arin grinned at each other.

 

They shared a knowing look. “Rock, paper scissors for who has to check the polygrumps tag,” said Holly.

 

Suzy sank deeper into the couch with a groan.


	30. Rise Above (ABO-Verse, Commanderraptorflapbang)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do You Ever...Worry that you're going to lose control?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192) and [this!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22)

“For the record,” Dan said, coming around the curve of the living room entry arch, still looking as exhausted as Holly felt, “Arin said he was sorry for hurling on your new shoes.”

 

“He doesn’t have to apologize,” she said, waving him off. Barefooted, she leaned back against the couch and Dan joined her, popping his head onto her shoulder. 

 

“It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be,” Dan admitted. “Like, all my life I thought I’d go on banging alphas and not have to y’know…deal with the baby thing ‘til I was forty.”

 

Holly narrowed her eyes at him, catlike. “You’re such a guy,” she complained. “and you can’t predict love.”

 

“I am aware of this. And I am not! Or well, I am…” He rubbed Holly’s shoulders and ignored the whole ‘love’ comment. “So how’s Suzy dealing with it?”

 

“She’s known for longer than Arin,” Holly said. “And they’ve always wanted to have kids, but they’re both pretty sick right now. We’re probably going to have to do something for the show together while they’re out of it.” She turned toward the closed door. “The reality of it is freaking them both out pretty hard though.” She sighed. “God, I never imagined I’d be anyone’s dad…”

 

“I know,” he said. 

 

“Dan..” she said softly. “Do you ever…worry that you’re going to lose control?”

 

“Yeah,” he admitted. “The biological goal’s to make sure the babies are born. So anything that gets between that’s going to get a bullshit response out of me. What about you?”

 

“I don’t like it,” she said, without further explanation. “It makes me feel like an animal.”

 

“Yeah,” he said. “But I guess that’s what we were put on earth to do; rise above.”

 

She smiled and kissed his cheek. “That’s what we’ll do, then,” she declared. “Rise above.”

 

It was easier said than done, but it was a promise she was determined to keep


	31. The Burn (commanderbang, abo-verse, nc-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impulse should never lead to emotion...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192) and [this!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22)

His hair was spread out over her thighs, a laprobe of pure fire, sending tiny sharp thrills through her body as he slid back up, licking her cock on the way there.

Dan was soaked with her cream when he surfaced, with her scent when he finally climbed between her legs. Holly laughed as he positioned himself between her legs. He pouted down in confusion. “You look like a lion,” she declared. Dan moaned as she stroked his cheek, leaned into her touch and pushed himself into the soft warmth between her legs.

“I don’t…believe…we’re doing this,” Holly admitted, both legs around his waist, trying to climb his back as he thrust into her, rolling back and forth in the costume remnants beneath them, her dick trapped against his stomach and the two of them glued together with her sweat. They’d been lonely, and Suzy was home in Florida with Arin, the two of them visiting their families and getting spoiled at various baby showers. One thing had led to another, which had led to Dan burying his face between Holly’s thighs on a horny, stupid dare.

“I…believe it,” Dan was becoming pre-verbal in his arousal, driving down hard and deep as he tried to prolong his oncoming orgasm. She tugged on his hair and whined, pivoting his hips. “Holy shit, Hol.”

“It’s so good.” She bit his neck, felt his arms circle her and felt…safe. Home. It was a lot like making love with Ross. It was a lot like being…

In love?

Why not? She loved Arin and Suzy and Ross; why not love Dan? She squinted up into his face, her finger wet against her clit, her other hand trying to work her dick, raising an eyebrow at Dan’s valentine-colored face, his hair misty and his eyes needy and warm.

“Uh, honey,” he muttered into her neck, taking a small bite. She shuddered and hunched up into his thrust. “Can I knot you?” he whispered. “Please?”

She shivered, squeezed him hard. This was turning into something way more complicated than a simple, guiltless fuck. But Dan was so desperate and she wanted, needed, to know what it felt like from the other side. “Mmm, uh huh.”

“Words,” he begged, his hips swinging wildly. “Please!”

“Do it!” Holly grunted. She could feel the heavy, hard knot of him against her vulva.

“Holly!”

“Fucking knot me!” she demanded, sounding like Suzy when she was in heat. The tone of voice and her needy scrabbling of her nails down his back, both of her legs kicking blindly over his hips; Dan responded to all of that neediness and instantly thrust forward, deep and hard. The sudden rush of fullness and the sudden blast of heat made her scream and come in a long, sharp contraction. 

Minutes passed by. Possibly hours. Dan was filling her up, overflowing onto the green silk she’d bought to make him a shirt, her sex twitching around his dick, her cock twitching and spasming between them. It took her a long time to come down – by the time she did Dan was lying full-body on her; surprisingly light, his weight easy to bear.

“D’you mind…sleep here?” Dan wondered. They were still firmly knotted together.

“No,” She said softly stroking his soft back, playing with an odd loose curl. “Not at all.”

She let him sleep on her breast and wondered at the confusing feelings they’d trailed in their wake.


	32. Role Playing (Commanderflaps, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly feels ridiculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Holly/Suzy - Suzy dresses in drag, gets her cock sucked by Holly.

“I feel ridiculous.”

Suzy sighed deeply, tried to sit back on her heels and jut out her jaw. Holly is kneeling in front of her couch staring at Suzy’s hips as if they were some incredibly confusing math problem. It was getting hot in here. The suit she’d donned was classic tweed, grey and scratching and baggy. No one had counted on how hot the living room might get. “It’s roleplay...” she swung her hips, the fake pink cock bobbing ridiculously from the harness, shimmering in the light. “C’mon,” she soothed. “Come kiss daddy’s cock.” Holly giggled and Suzy groaned.

But the comment got her hand on the dick. Holly raised an eyebrow and gently jerked away at the shaft. “I know you can’t feel any of this. So um...I guess enjoy the show?”

“It’s psychological, duh,” Suzy said.

Holly had no idea what she meant, but she hiked up her skirt and leaned forward anyway.


	33. Wriggle (Egobang, M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Play-wrestling turns into play-humping. Ain't that always the way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - For a fic request - Dan & Arin "fight" (grapple), which leads to full on making out & dry humping.

“Ow!” Arin whined as Dan's bony knee slammed into his side as they squirmed around on the couch. “Dan, stop slapping me! You’re not even doing it right!”

“Right?!” he leaned a bony hip into Arin’s soft belly. “What would be ‘right’ in this situation?! I told you I don’t like slapping people!” he squirmed around, trying to gain traction and finding none.

It was such a stalemate that Arin supposed grabbing Dan’s ass as a distractionary move was well within his reason.

“Dude,” Dan said flatly.

“What?” Arin asked innocently.

“This is not...a make-out...thing...” he said in return. His groin was pressed flat against Arin’s and was grinding frantically away against his fly. They were both half-hard. The pretense of play-wrestling was starting to fall away.

Eh, Arin reasoned to himself as Dan growled and lurched over his prone body, bending down to bite his lip. They could always wash the couch.


	34. The Springs of Ran'ma (In-Universe NSP, Gender Transformation, PG-13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Brian, I believe I drank too deeply from the hot springs of Ran’ma.” Or: Dan has been turned into a girl and Ninja Brian is...intrigued.

“Brian, I believe I drank too deeply from the hot springs of Ran’ma.”

The ninja rolls his eyes as he watches Dan struggle with his costume. Where once had stood a gawky man with long red-brown hair…stood a gawky woman with red-brown hair. And some pretty decent boobs. Brian shrugs; he’d warned Dan not to sup from the enchanted spring, but Dan being Dan had shoved aside his request with a laugh. So this was the punishment. 

He stares at Dan’s legs and then slaps himself across the face. This is a betrayal of his training, the sacred bro code by which all ninjas lived.

Dan catches him scaring and gasps, pulling his…her? sequined cape closer to her chest. “Now’s no time to stare at my buppies!” Dan glances down at her chest and raises an eyebrow. “Though they are pretty sweet, aren’t they? I make a smoking hot girl. Woah, is my butt sweeter?” He turns around to notice Brian’s flush. “Brian! Don’t make this weird! I’m just me with boobs. And a ROCKING puss.” Dan’s vanity makes even Brian roll his eyes, and for a good ten minutes they’re stuck at the side of the road as Dan bounces in place like a lost traveler from the Planet Jugee. “No, Brian! Now’s not the time to gawk at my amazing cans!”

Brian reaches for his sword. “That’s right! Now’s the time to fight our way back to the stream! Surely if I skinny dip once more, I’ll be returned to my true, handsome form. Are you ready?!”

Brian’s steely eyes widen every-so-slightly. Danny was incredibly dangerous when he was determined. In this form he seems even more so.

But she’s already running away, her costume straining around her chest. Oh fuck it. They’ll figure everything out after they stab a few people in the face.


	35. Quiet Time (Commanderflap, NC-17, ABO-Verse)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzy was, in a word, a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192) and [this!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22)

Suzy was, in a word, a mess. Holly’s entire weight is pressed against the small of her back, and she’s a sticky, goopy pile of flesh, slick, lube, pe-come and jizz. 

Wayyy too much jizz. She had no idea Holly could even come that much. And Holly was inside of her, still. Still knotted to her and breathing into Suzy’s shoulder.

“I’m kinda regretting the whole doggy-style idea,” she said lightly. “My knees are totally numb.”

“Huz?” Holly muttered into her shoulder. She gave Suzy an awkward, open-mouthed kiss to the back of her neck and Suzy felt he r skin prickle. “D’ya want me to roll over?”

“Noo,” Suzy muttered. She wiggled down onto her belly and gasped as Holly’s whole body came to rest against her back. That put her right in the sticky puddle she was planning on scrubbing in an hour or two. When she had her knees back. And her lungs. And her brains.

Holly’s fingertips were curled like a skein of wool around her fingertips. Suzy smiled to herself and took those fingers into her grip. 

Even half-asleep, when she squeezed the alpha squeezed back.


	36. Suckle (Flapbang) (PG-13) (ABO-Verse) (Lactation)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This still feels weird"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246)
> 
> This contains lactation.

“This still feels weird.” 

Dan is lying cradled in Suzy’s arms. It feels like they’re in a stepback romance novel cover, and she’s caught him mid-swoon; his hair blankets her thigh and the bones of his elbows dig into her knee.

It’s remarkably cuddly; except for the fact that he’s sucking on her boobs.

“Weird as in you want to stop?” he asked, letting her nipple slip out of his mouth.

“Weird as in I don’t know why you like this.” The male psyche had long felt like a complicated mess to her, and she’s not surprised that Dan’s got a few kinks, but breast-milk sipping is an entirely new idea for her.

He shrugged. “It’s kind of comforting,” he shrugged. “Does it feel okay?”

“I feel like your mom.” Her sore nipples were honestly beside the point. 

Dan winced. “Please don’t bring up my mom while I’m sucking on your boobs,” he begged.

She lifted his head and gestured for him to latch on. “Don’t forget the left one. I don’t want them to be too hard.”

Dan let out a low, querulous moan at the very idea.


	37. Handbeautiful (Egobang, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan wears lingerie for Arin and feels ridiculous. 
> 
> But then again he'll never be as ridiculous as Arin...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the Prompt: Dan crossdressing & getting fucked, just for Arin. He wears something silky & blue.

“I look ridiculous, Arin.” 

Arin, leaning casually against the bathroom door, was in the process of shedding his pants when Dan’s voice came echoing through the wood and paper. “Bullshit! I will not stand for anyone talking smack about my baby, even if that person is my baby.”

“It looked better on the mannequin.” He and Suzy had spent all afternoon together preparing for tonight, and Arin was absolutely anxious to see the results of their work.

“You’re handsome, Dan. And beautiful.” Arin flopped down on the bed as the bathroom door swung open. 

“Did you just make up a word for me?” Dan asked. His rangy body was encased in a baby-blue teddy that accentuated his hips and his spare, bony toro at the same time. His legs looked somehow longer in the matching pale-blue knee-high stockings. He looked nervous as he squeezed the doorframe and tried to pivot himself toward Arin. 

“You deserve all of the made-up words ever. Like…handbeautiful.”

Dan smiled and strode toward Arin, kneeling on the bed, straddling his lap. “Y’know, if you were kissing me you wouldn’t have to talk. That would be fabulous.”

Arin filled his hands with spare softness. Lace and flesh alike molded itself to his hands as Dan bent over him and pressed their lips together.


	38. Solvency (Multi, A/B/O-Verse, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is his family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979)

The realization comes drip by drip, bit by bit. It’s Sunday morning over a messy breakfast. It’s a long Saturday night watching movies with the girls sprawled over their laps. It’s crowding into the front row of kindergarten plays, a motley bunch of smiles and cell phones and cheering voices. It’s sitting up nights when they cough and baby’s first December.

The rationalization takes much longer. There are so many forms to fill out; wills to change, deeds to expand, land to buy. Homes to make. And rings to buy. It’s like planning a civil ceremony, only with different forms.

Dan occasionally looks up from his very carefully organized ring binder filled with cake pictures and flower arrangements. He sees Holly braiding Zip’s hair and Arin trying to teach Rhea how to play Elmo’s Balloon Adventure. Ross and Suzy are half-asleep on the sofa, comfortably close to one another, picking away at a bowl of popcorn.

This is his family, he realizes.

And it scares him half to fucking death.


	39. Special (a/b/o-verse, original female character, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zip's side of the events contained in 'worse than the time with the skunk'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207)

When she’s much older, she’s going to groan about this night. She’s going to lean back and take a look at him, this fucking jerk who’s way too old to be putting the moves on her and way too old to be hanging out at a frat house, and slap her own forehead. How could she be this foolish, to actually think he was in love with her and not looking, as her Dad would say a few hours later during an epic rant, during for the express way into her pants?

At the moment, however, she feels like a grown-up, wearing her Mom’s dress and too much of her eyeliner, her first real pair of high heels, drinking as much terrible, bathrub-brewed house beer as she can (or she thinks it’s beer…or hopes it is), holding hands with a man twice her age. For a few minutes she’s dizzy-happy, sitting in Duncan’s lap on the sofa, getting felt up, letting him suck on her neck while she tried to keep an eye on Rhea. Most of her is at flight - at the moment she isn’t Rhea’s ‘good’ sister, Cammy’s slightly-less brilliant sibling, a less sweet version of Jemma or a less funny version of Ella. She isn’t even the daughter of geek royalty. She’s herself, and good enough because of it.

Zip has lost track of her sister in her reverie. She scans the crowd, full of fear, but finally spots Rhea sitting on the sofa nearby, trying desperately to flirt with a short redhead who keeps talking about Aristotle.

And Zip then feels alone with Duncan in a crowd. Oppressively, frighteningly alone with Duncan. And all of his promises and all of her bravado suddenly feel like water evaporating around her, leaving her high and dry and unable to breathe.

Duncan is tugging on her elbow, trying to pull her back out of the spiral and back into her hormone induced bout of madness. “Baby, baby! Wanna go upstairs.”

Reality collides with She really doesn’t want to do it for the first time in the middle of a party, upstairs on someone’s winter coat.

Her stomach turns to ice at the very idea. She had a lot of ideas about the kind of romance she’d wanted to experience and he’s providing positively none of them.

“Duncan!” she says overbrightly, and turns from him, toward the familiar comfort of her sister. “I….Rhea isn’t feeling well!”

Her sister’s familiar whiskey-colored eyes take her in, total confusion in them. “I’m not?”

Somehow, she convinces her sister it’s a great idea to get a sloppy, homemade tattoo of a bird from a hopefully-licensed guy with six tattoos lining his arms, one of which is of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on a Patriots logo. A man after her abba’s heart, she thinks to herself, allowing the distraction from the pain. 

Three months ago, she would have gaped in horror at this version of herself. She had been…well, a stereotypical good girl, content to sit at the middle of the class. Then she’d sprouted up, and out. Some part of her understood the attention was all shallow, all because of her body, but the part of her that hated being a wallflower, soaked it all up. 

By the time her tattoo was finished she realized how dark it was, how late they were….and that Howie was standing over them like an avenging goddess.

This was not going to go well.


	40. Little Bird (a/b/o-verse, original characters & Dan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan talks his daughter down after a hard day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334)

Dan sighed as he ran his fingertips over his daughter’s bloody knuckles. This was the third fight Rhea had been in in as many weeks, and she was edging her way toward a suspension. 

The girl was still shaking with rage in his embrace, listening to him make soft, soothing sounds of comfort. 

“What did they say to you this time, little bird?” Dan knows it must be something bad.

“Nothing,” glummed his daughter. He sighed.

“Rhea…” he knew the truth was going to come out somehow, at school or at the meeting he, Arin, Holly and Suzy had been ‘invited’ to. 

“There was this kid from study hall. He was calling Jemma names.” The answer was clipped and flat, to the point, and Dan feels yet another wave of sympathy for this child who is so like him, but who reacts to the world’s slings and arrows with such volatility instead of quiet equanimity. “I had to protect her.” 

“Oh baby,” Dan sighed, wrapping her arms around Rhea. Her angry tears started up again, both arms clinging to his own spare frame. They looked like two sticks of broccoli clinging in a hurricane, and he thought to himself. “You let us take care of creeps like that, okay?”

A long time later he let her go and rubbed her cheeks dry. She kissed his cheek. The shaking was gone.

“Want some ice cream?” He wasn’t one to reward violence, but under the circumstances thought she deserved some. “We’ve still got some chocolate left.”

“Yes please,” she said.

At least he still knew what kind of sweets could brighten his daughter’s day.


	41. Flirt (a/b/o-verse, commanderflap, R)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly and Suzy flirt...awkwardly...early in their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385)

“You didn’t just ask me to do that!” Holly was blushing, in spite of herself, and she watched Suzy lean against the kitchen counter. 

“But I want you to deep dick me!” She almost sounded like Arin trying to shock Dan quiet. Well, to be fair, Holly had asked Suzy to ride her face like a hurricane. It was all in good mating, she supposed. 

“Are you trying to make me blush?” 

Suzy grinned and wiggled over on her high heels, bratty, winsome and ridiculously forward. “And I wanna see how far down that blush goes.

Holly’s knees knocked together at the very idea.


	42. Honey (Egobang, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow, quiet sex on a rainy autumn afternoon during a business trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the prompt: _Gentle rain tapping on the glass, early morning light, slow love making. Egobang if you please!_

Dan tastes like tea. Smoky, with a vague hint of clover honey from hotel room service. They had a continental breakfast in bed before he reached across and kissed the chocolate mint out of Arin’s mouth.

It’s grey out there today. Grey everywhere but in this room, where the lamp light is rose gold and the wallpaper is dotted with flocked flowers. The glow throws new shadows as the day deepens and the rain gets louder against their borrowed window pane. Arin notices the way Dan’s bones shift beneath his skin, vulnerable seeming, tossing this way and that when Arin’s thumbs find the tips of his nipples or the base of his neck. 

Their plans have been cancelled by the rain, so Arin takes his time. Perhaps too much time, because when gets close to sliding Dan out of his navy-colored boxer briefs Dan almost rolls his eyes in frustration. “You’re such a cock tease oh my god,” Dan complains, his cheeks bright red as he helps Arin shimmy the clothing down his long thighs. 

Arin bites his bottom lip. He swears Dan flexes his cock, just to make it look bigger –or just to tempt him. He settles down against his elbow and feels himself stick close to the fly of his pajama pants.

Everything lingers on his tongue today, and Dan is no exception, smoky-sour, making Arin moan and Dan cry out, hide his face in his hands in embarrassment. Arin pets Dan’s thighs and feels him melt, creamy-soft, against him. There is no room, no shade, for shame here.

Arin falls into it, the rhythmless fairy-tale, his mouth stretching greedily around new thickness. And as Dan makes a broken, squeaky sound the metallic light shades his hair, lighter, then darker, as his entire body moves toward Arin’s mouth, drowsy and fat-lipped as an old boxer.


	43. Instinct (A/B/O-Verse, Holly and OC, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly helps Rhea with a few questions she has about life as an alpha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483550) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8141047)

“So when did you want to kill someone for the first time?”

Holly almost choked on her almond milk. “Rhea, I’ve never WANTED to kill someone, I’ve wanted to…protect our family.” She sat against the counter. “Someone was being a real jerk to Ross at a con and they kept trying to make him say ‘goddamn it, Ross’. So I kind of growled at the guy.”

Rhea nodded thoughtfully, took a long drag from her chocolate milk. “So when I feel like I’m going to rip someone’s heart out of their chest for fu-ugh messing with my sisters then it’s normal?”

“Petty much. You want to protect the pack, and it’s just your instincts going haywire.” Holly nudges Rhea’s shoulder. “But you have to fight them. No matter how much you want to give in, you’re still a human being at heart – and whatever you do will haunt you, when you get older.”

Rhea nods. She doesn’t ask Holly what she means, but the import of her words slosh around in her head for the rest of the day.


	44. Orion (a/b/o-verse; Dan & Original Child Character)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan takes Cammy stargazing but it seems Cammy already knows more about the night sky than her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483550) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8141047) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659836)

“Abba! You’re moving too slow!”

Dan thinks to himself that there’s a reason for that. He has a picnic basket with soda in his hand, and a large heavy picnic blanket Suzy has given him. It’s three more steps to the top of the hill, and he takes the time to carefully set everything down before lying flat on the earth and letting his daughter rest her head on his stomach. 

The sky stretches out for miles around them, navy-blue with a million white pinprick stars. Without thinking, he strokes Cammy’s hair gently, lets her soak in the moment while he tries to feel something close to relaxed.

“What do you think, Cammy?” 

“It’s so big,” she murmurs, for once sounding awed. In the starlight he sees her face – mostly Arin with large eyes and a mouselike mouth, light brown hair shot through with waves of his own auburn shade. 

He points to a spot over his head and points at Orion. “Do you know what that’s called?”

The child squints, then smiles and says, “Orion! Its biggest stars are named Betelgeuse and Rigel, and they think it was formed over thirty-eight thousand years ago. Betelgeuse is supposed to explode a million years from now.”

Dan stares at the child, feeling like he’s just exited one of Brian’s lectures…back when Brian was a professor, back when they were actually friends. He tickles her under the chin to remind her that she’s a child – and admits that he’s got a lot of learning to do.


	45. Full (Holly/Arin/Dan - Commanderegobang - NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly, Arin and Dan try double penetration. It's not as easy as they figured it might be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the prompt: _Arin & someone else "stuffing the bird" If ya get what I mean wink wink. (By which I mean fucking Holly.)_

“Why is everything more difficult in real life than it is in porn?” 

Holly groans and buries her face into Dan’s bony shoulder. She pushes back her hair and laughs, sweating into his smooth but very not-sweaty form. “Stop making me laugh,” she panted. “I have two wangs in my body right now, if I move too much one of you’s going to fall out.”

“It’ll probably be Arin,” Dan says, trying to do something exotic with his hips that nearly unseats Holly. 

“Is that a small dick joke?!?” Arin tries to give Dan’s butt a love-tap but, obviously unable to reach it, settles for poking his chest over Holly’s shoulder.

“Your dick is not small,” Dan says flatly. “It’s enormous, it’s…voluble?” 

“Please don’t get fancy now,” Holly moans, sitting up and back, humming thoughtfully as she lets Arin scoot up against her back, solid and warm and sweaty, kissing the back of her neck. She automatically turns toward Arin and kisses the side of his cheek. He’s cozy; warm and cuddly against her back, glued to her via sweat yet slippery between her cheeks thanks to the enormous amount of Astroglide he’d poured on her ass and his dick.

Dan coughs from below, clearly hating to be neglected. “So you’re saying you don’t want me to sing Iggy Azalea while we do it.”

She groans, lets go of Arin to lie on Dan’s chest. They trade kisses, her fingertips running through his hair while they make out. He is spare against her breasts and belly but with silky-soft skin. His chest hair teases her breasts. They break and she sighs. “I’ll let you do anything you want if you promise you won’t stop.”

“I vow with every inch of my heart that I will rock your puss until it falls off.”

“Great image, dude,” Arin remarks, burying his face against the back of Holly’s neck. She tucks him there with a hand as his hips pull back, leaving her so painfully empty.

“They can’t all be poetry,” Dan says, moving in counter-rhythm, leaving Holly a shaking, soaked, mess suspended in time between them.


	46. Fists Out (A/B/O Verse, Original Child Character)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea's first fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483550) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8141047) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659836) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659920)

She was ten years old, and their camp counselor had made her baby sister eat a cigarette butt for fun. She didn’t remember the act in of itself, of telling her parents but outrunning them all back to the bus. No. not so much as the feeling it brought to life in her; complete outrage, followed by cold fury. 

She’ll always remember the look of shock in the boy’s face, her own cry of anger, sharp and bragging like a hawk at midnight, and the feeling of someone else’s blood gushing to the cold ground between her hot, curled, painful fingers, alive but no longer part of the living.


	47. Fussing (Commanderflaps, PG, a/b/o-verse)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly fusses over a pregnant Suzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483550) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8141047) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659836) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659920) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659929)

“Where did you find a stuffed bat?” Suzy is squealing, which is something she rarely does even when especially moved, and squeezes the little fluffy bat in her arms like it’s her own toy.

“I thought about making one,” Holly admits, “but I didn’t have the extra time. Turns out lots of lovelies know how to sew.”

Suzy pats the little bat fondly before wrapping an arm around Holly’s waist. It’s been impossible for them to eke out any time alone, between the push to record new episodes and the fact that Arin’s pregnancy had required bed rest. Holly stares at Suzy’s stomach as it jolts suddenly.

“Put your hand on it,” Suzy teases, splaying Holly’s slim fingers out on her belly. “It’s not going to bite.” _She_ , Holly thinks, but doesn’t say the word out loud. The little lump under Holly’s palm shifts and she gasps. 

“Why are you like a super-tiny magnet for my lungs?” she complains fondly. Holly is suddenly octopus-hugging her, scaring a small ‘woah’ of surprise out of Suzy. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” said Holly happily. “You just…smell really super nice,” she blushed.

Suzy grinned into Holly’s hair. “You don’t smell bad, either.” She smelled like Suzy’s mate, like love and desire and lust and all of the things she thought of when she thought of her lover.

Holly tugged her gently into her arms and purred, running a loving hand along Suzy’s belly. Patiently, Suzy sat still and let her stroke. Holly’s loving touch was absolutely worth every second of the fussing


	48. Cling (Commanderbang, Polyverse, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Holly have a private talk.

“Are you mad at me?”

Dan pulled back from Holly, brows knit together, total confusion in his eyes. “Why?” he wondered, as if someone had suggested that the moon were really made out of green cheese.

“Because I wasn’t more careful.”

“Hol.” He noticed the guilt in her eyes then. Ever since they’d negotiated their scene – was it a scene anymore, the complicated tangle of sex and love that kept him anchored to his friends? - Holly an Suzy had been careful. But Holly had miscalculated just once. And now he was going to be someone’s dad, and the very idea made his heart bloom and his stomach cramp at the same time. “I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. Sometimes pills just fail.”

“But I’m an adult, and well.” She held out he hands helplessly, “I didn’t think I wanted kids, not for the longest time. I was planning on having a bunch of pets and babysitting for my friends just to re-up my anti-kid inoculation and…” 

“….And then I happened.”

“You and Arin. And Barry. Sometimes Brian.”

“I know,” Dan said, “I was there.”

She groaned and hid he face in his chest. “Ross knows it’s different between you and me. That you mean more. God, it’s some weird miracle that he hasn’t asked me to stop seeing you.” 

Dan frowned, his hand encompassing Holly’s belly easily. She was barely showing at this point, but he could still envision the baby as it rolled beneath his touch. “He can’t. He knows the baby’s mine.”

“Yeah,” she said. “And he loves us both too much to be jealous.”

“In case you’re wondering,” Dan said suddenly, “I’m not mad at you. It takes two to tango.”

Holly sighed out a heavy breath. “Ok,” she said. His hand closed around hers. The park was deep and lush with purple-gold leaves that brushed their cheeks when they moved down the path. He watched the bright golden sunlight add shades of green-gold to Holly’s hair and wondered at the power of his luck.


	49. Fecund (Commanderbang, a/b/o-verse. PG-13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Dan has a little kink...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483550) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8141047) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659836) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659920) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659929) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18660007)

“Are you going to tell me why you’ve been nuzzling my neck all day?”

 

Dan pulled back from Holly and gave her a confused look. “You smell super good. Like, way amazingly good…”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Could you please make me feel like more of a human being? Just a little tiny bit?”

 

Dan frowned. “I’m not like…objectifying you, am I? I love you, and the baby…and us. And I love you even when you’re not all…with child…” 

 

“I’m not the virgin Mary, Dan,” she sighed. “I swear sometimes it’s like you’ve got a fetish…”

 

He laughed, a little too loudly. “Who, me?”

 

She raised an eyebrow as he rubbed her belly. “Maybe a little kink?”

 

“Maybe a little one,” he shrugged. “After all of those years trying NOT to get somebody pregnant suddenly being free to go whole hog was kind of um…intoxicating.” 

She sighed. “You’re going to make it up to me with a foot rub, man.”

“A foot rub and a pussy rub?”

He was pulling her toward the bed. “Lead the way…”


	50. I Missed Your Ass (Egobang, PG-13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin has missed Dan, though Dan doesn't believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a meme at my Tumblr, requested by saiq2004!

“Dude. Dude…ARin,” Dan was trying to get them both on the bed, but Arin was monkey-clinging to his chest. Which was weird with their matching heights – it was as if Arin was positively starved for him. “Let me get the light!”

Dan managed to do that, muffling a laugh at the sight of Arin’s eager eyes watching him. “What?” Arin asked.

“You’re looking up at me like I’ve been gone for three years instead of three weeks!”

“It was almost a month! I’ve been lonely, okay?” Dan’s chuckle was soft – he knew Arin was serious about his feelings of isolation. He played his fingers through the air for a moment, groping behind him to turn the light on. Arin looked damnably good sitting there, his eyes locked onto Dan’s. Arin looped his arms around Dan’s neck.

“I just fucking missed your ass. You are the light of my life, y’know.” 

Dan nodded, mock-wisely. “Me, Suzy, hentai boobs, Jason Momoa…”

Arin shook his head. “No. Just you, man.”

Dan laughed. “Wow. You’re saying that and looking me right in the eyes…” he trailed off when Arin wrapped his arms around his neck. Dan drifted through their shared kiss, letting them separate and quietly fall apart. He rubbed his swollen bottom lip thoughtfully. “Oh.” 

“Let’s go to bed,” Arin said, unzipping his own hoodie.

“Great idea.” And as far as Dan was concerned Arin had the best ones.


	51. Take Me (generic a/b/o, tableship, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzy is pretty sure Barry's a beta.
> 
> Pretty sure.

Suzy was fairly sure that Barry was a beta. Not that they spent time in the office talking about their statuses, but he was quiet, kind, sweet and businesslike. So were most betas. Maybe it a stereotype, but it was one that Suzy often found to be true. 

It was a perception that was ruined when she accidentally walked in on him jerking off in a camp shower during a company field trip and saw his knot.

They’d both been humiliated by the incident but Suzy couldn’t deny her fascination. It was amusing to everyone around them.

She’d be embarrassed if that moment hadn’t turned Barry into the star of her masturbatory fantasies for months afterward.

 

** 

When she came into heat she’d locked herself alone in the house and slowly burned her way through four sets of batteries. Eventually the motor burned out on her vibrator. All calls home were ignored. Arin – nearly drained by her demands – finally called uncle and called in reinforcements with her permission.

At least she hadn’t managed to call him Barry in her delirium. 

 

The object of her fantasies came with a pot of soup and a blush on his cheeks to the house. Arin slapped him on the back and wished him luck on his way out of the house. Dan was apparently suffering back at their place. She wasn’t the only needy omega in the same area code, after all.

 

Suzy was wild-eyed when she saw him, two plastic cocks buried in her abandoned sex and ass, throbbing her way through another orgasm. Her body recognized its mate and failed to feel the embarrassment it ought to.

She reached for him and he, fully clothed, gave an awkward smile as he reached back. 

The message was silent, universal. 

_Take me. Knot Me. Mate me._

They fell into the dark well of passion together, without a single thought, a single worry, his mouth melting her restraint, her body taking his knot, his come, his lust and his passion into the very center of her until they were nothing but satisfied, nothing but bonded.


	52. Balcony View (Commanderninja, clothed sex, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross is bored. So is Holly.
> 
> Let the games begin...

The movie was boring. That was the only thought racing through Ross’ head as he subtly checked his phone and muffled a yawn against the back of his hand. Holly yawned into her own hand, adjusting her glasses, propping her hand up in her chin. She looked ready to fall asleep on him.

Onscreen an alien blasted its way to freedom and beside him he heard the sound of a paper container hitting the floor.

“Oops,” she muttered, getting on her knees beside him, groping into the space between them. “Lost my NoNos.”

Then she pawed his dick and he went still. “Not the box of candy, Hol,” he said, voice strained.

“Hmm…” she squeezed him through his jeans. “It feels big enough….” Her familiar touch crested over the head of his cock and he chewed his bottom lip to hold back a cry.

“Shh!” hissed someone behind them and Holly grinned up at him. _shh_ she mouthed back at Ross, and started stroking him through his pants. Ross kept his expression neutral, tried to watch the movie while his wife basically jerked him off through his jeans. 

He hoped his jacket was long enough to cover the obvious wet spot he was leaving behind, but he really didn’t care.

A few minutes later she settled beside him, her hand still lingering in his lap, his own fingers journeyed across the divider and brushed the seat of her pants, in search of his not-exactly-missing-soda straw.


	53. Rinse Cycle (Flapbang, Hair Kink, R)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzy insists on washing Dan's hair. Dan is more surprised than he should be to find this activity to be mildly erotic.

Dan smirked at Suzy’s low, expectant sigh. “Have you ever tried Shea butter?”

“Whose butter?” Dan wondered, fiddling with his phone. Suzy had carefully clipped his hair up into several sections with a set of banana clips and was trying to wash out the mass of tangled curls. Her idea. He’d already told her it was a hopeless case, that his hair was a dry as a chaff of wheat and would likely stay that way, but when Suzy learned he wasn’t washing his hair more than four times a month she’d sprung into action. Thus he found himself sitting in front of her bathroom mirror, letting her wash and style his hair. 

“We’ll find out,” she said. Setting a bowl of solid shampoo beside him she began to dress his hair, taking each section and gently combing her treatment through his locks. 

And Dan quickly learned that he liked this kind of pampering. Specifically a single part of him which was stubbornly trying to punch its way through his fly. 

Suzy didn’t notice his dilemma, continuing to gently wash each bit of hair, then urging him to lean back into the bowl as she unclipped each section and poured warm water over them, brushing the oils and dust and dirt free from his skin. Dan’s eyes locked upon her cleavage and he tried his damnedest not to stare but the mildly erotic sensation of being thoroughly pampered made him want to drift off and hump his own hand at the same time.

She was so focused on that she didn’t notice his arousal until she leaned into his thigh. Dan flushed and looked away. 

Suzy raised an eyebrow and glanced at his lap. “Really?”

“You’re making this even weirder than it already is,” he said, trying to re-arrange his jeans over his hard on. “I like being pampered!” She sighed again and grabbed her solid conditioner and started applying it to his roots. “Wait, we’re not stopping?”

“Your hair’s not done,” she said firmly, her breast brushing his nose. She tugged on a lock experimentally and he hissed. When she went back to massaging the conditioner into his scalp Dan groaned as she continued, “And I kind of want to see if I can make you come in your pants.”

He bit his bottom lip and tried not to nuzzle his way into the chest.


	54. Silence (Egobang, Silent and Public, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick, amped and quiet set of handjobs

This small corner was dark and warm. The lights swept the stage four feet from them, but here they were totally invisible. 

Which they were immensely thrilled about. The last thing they want is for their audience of screaming, adoring fans to see them giving each other quickie hand jobs just out of sight of the limelight. 

Their mouths had fused together, lips taking biting, gentle kisses from each other. The goal is to avoid leaving behind marks. The goal was to avoid getting jizz on each other, too, though that was often a task more difficult than making no noise.

Dan’s face was two inches from Arin’s, and he was biting back a laugh – the eye contact was close enough to feel creepy, but they had no place else to move – using each other as cover, lips brushing, hands feverishly working each other’s dicks. 

Arin came first – he tended to do that consistently, amped up with pre-nerves jitters. For all of his love of exhibitionism and all of his shamelessness jerking it standing up close to strangers had its embarrassing drawbacks for Dan. Arin held him up as he came into Dan’s cupped hand, then fell to his knees and took Dan quickly down his mouth. The orgasm was fast but it nearly knocked Dan to his knees in ecstasy. 

His kiss was wet, desperate, open-mouthed. They barely had time to fix stray hairs, wipe their mouths and zip back up before Vernon’s introduction rang through the loudspeaker and ruined the illusion of intimacy for them for good.


	55. Crush With Eyeliner (EgoFlap, PG, Crossdressing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They prepare for a night out at a drag show.

Suzy carefully lines Arin’s lips in blood red, a shade that made his dark eyes pop and his smile seem wider. His eyes are bright blue tonight, an electric metallic shade that Suzy has ceded solely to him for the way it makes her skin look sallow. He wears a dark purple dress with black stocking and old high-heeled boots and – in her semi-professional opinion, in a compliment he takes with a blush – he looks incredibly fetching. 

He, in turn, lies out her clothing – sweat pants, an old shirt from a con. She doesn’t wear a speck of makeup, tying her hair up in a bun. She packs. He stuffs his bra, pads his hips, tucks his cock.

They help each other along the way. The touches and teasing are just another form of foreplay; a brushing finger here, and a gentle adjustment there; nipples hardening, eyes widening, smiles growing toothy with lust. 

The people they’ll meet won’t know them; they’ll be an anonymous couple of human beings, watching a drag show, hand in hand, tipping the queens generously as they enjoy each other’s company. But their dress up is no mocking gesture, no put on – just another part of them, a secret piece of Arin and Suzy laid bare.

By the time they’re ready they’re happy to lock hands and stroll together without shame, enthralled.


	56. My Fair Taffy (Commanderraptor, PG-13, Costume Fetish)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin wants to do something special on their way out of the fair...

“Okay, we have ten more minutes until the fair closes,” Holly said, leaning against the wall. Her wizard’s robes were getting heavier all the time in the California sun, making her sweat, dribbling down her navel and over her inner thigh. Soft purple shades lit her aquamarine hair up beautifully, though, so she supposed it was worth the trouble. “What do you want to do? Have a turkey leg? Go on the swing? Watch the last jousting tournament?”

Arin grinned and leaned toward her, pecking her cheek. “How about we see how soundproof the Port-a-Potties are?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Really?” He grinned. “This costume’s getting to you that much?” She couldn’t tell due to the draped nature of his own clothing.

Arin was red-cheeked and eager. “You look so hot! And powerful!” He leaned into her, wrapping his arms around her neck. “I want you to carry me off to your castle and ravage me.”

 

She played with the corset lacing keeping him boned into his princess pink dress. “I wish I could arrange it – but I guess a little time alone will tide us over for a little while. Promise when we get in there promise you’ll call me mighty wizard Conrad.”

“If you promise to call me Lady Taffy,” Arin said seriously, and took her hand.


	57. The Falling Trapeze (Egobang, Sex Fails, R)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thought he'd done all of the leg work, damn it!

“OW!”

Ow, in Dan’s opinion, was the ultimate safe word; he stopped in mid-motion, dropping the flogger and checking on Arin with concern in his eyes. “Y’OK buddy?” He automatically double-checked the rigging he’d put together that afternoon. Everything looked like it was holding together.

“Something’s pulling on my right wrist.” Dan saw too late what the problem was – they’d screwed up the anchoring too loosely. Yeah, there went the lug nut.

Arin came loose from the harness two seconds after the apparatus fell apart, clattering to the floor and landing Arin in Dan’s outstretched arms. They fell in a pile beside the heap of metal tubing.

Before Dan could panic one blessed sound reached his ears. Arin’s stupid, hooting laughter, And it made Dan laugh along just as loudly.


	58. Harder than That (Commanderbang, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a special night. He's going to make it special.

“You’re so tight,” he mumbled. Holly flushed at his tone – at the position she was in, lying flat on her back with her arms thrown over her head, completely naked and her face flushed, her stomach trembling. Dan was stroking her clit with his thumb and she was all but shaking at the sensation. He'd kept his clothing on when they started this and seemed to be in no hurry to get naked.

 

He was patient with her – always patient but especially tonight. Tonight was important, so her neck had been kisses bright pink and her nipples stroked with a teasing tongue and rolled with careful fingertips. Now she felt his little finger opening her gently, only this, because he was concentrating on stroking her clit with his thumb, concentrating on making her flutter and throb for his touch.

 

He shifted his grip on her body; an index finger and a middle one entered her, knuckle by knuckle. 

 

Holly saw his eyes then. Dan was almost swooning at the sight of her opening up for him; she could never deny the notion that he loved _her_ pussy again. “So pretty for me; so ready and wanting and horny.”

 

Holly’s thighs shook against his free hand. His fingers moved more quickly and the wet sounds they made as he fucked her were obvious enough to embarrass her. 

 

“No, don’t be shy,” he murmured, kissing her calf. “Love how wet you are, how much you like it. Love making you come,” he confessed. “Want to make you do it again and again and again…God Holly, I adore you…”

 

Holly groaned, squeezing her thighs tight against his swirling fingers. He bent over to kiss her nipples and began to slide in and out more firmly, curving his fingers, trying to find her g spot. The heel of his hand rapidly rubbed at her clit to keep her going, keep her yearning for him. 

 

When he found it she yanked him toward her mouth by his hair. The kisses were quick and frantic and he rocked his fingers up deliberately against her g-spot, repeatedly teasing her until her muscles clamped down hard around him. She screamed against his lips, flooding over his palm and contracting inward, then starfishing bonelessly beneath him.

 

When she came back to him he was sliding down the bed, still wearing his leather jacket –but now otherwise nude. 

 

“I love you,” he mumbled against her belly, kissing his way over her mons and between her labia. “But I know you can come harder than that.”

 

Holly’s responding laugh was awfully close to a sob.


	59. Grown (a/b/o verse, main child character)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She figures that she's eighteen, and ought to be able to do what she wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483550) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8141047) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659836) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659920) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659929) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18660007) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18999074)

He wasn't talking to her

Rhea _hated_ it when Dan gave her the silent treatment, when he bit his tongue and stared straight ahead at the road like she was invisible. Maybe he was waiting for her to explain herself, or to apologize – two things she was never going to do, on punishment, on force of death. She hadn’t been _stupid_ , after all; had insisted on a condom, was very sure that this was what she wanted…for the millionth time in the last year, though she wasn’t about to tell him that. It wasn’t his business. 

Dan sighed deeply as they pulled into the driveway. “I’ll go back for the truck tomorrow,” he said. “I don’t know what we’re going to tell them…”

“How about nothing?” she said icily. The whole lot of them may adore telling the universe about their last bowel movement or how much they loved to be ridden, but Rhea had dignity. She sniffed to herself as Dan frowned. 

“Rhea…”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she thundered, yanking open the car door and racing from the scene. He could find her in her room, hiding her head under a pillow and pretending the last hour hadn’t happened. 

*** 

Howie was the first one to knock on her door, of course. “Please let me in,” she begged. Rhea glowered at the door and nearly yanked it open, a growl low in her throat.

“If you’re gonna yell at me,” she said, “I don’t want to hear it.” She eyeballed her babbling half-sister who rode on Holly’s hip. Funny how Abba and Howie were the ones living with the result of an ‘oops’ baby yet they were crucifying her for using a condom.

Holly frowned. “I wanted to ask if you felt like dinner.”

All of her anger deflated instantly; Holly, defacto head of the household, had spoken, and whenever her Howie did that she tended to go quite quiet. 

“Rhea…” she started softly, “I know you’re eighteen and can make your own choices. In the fall you’re going to go off to college and we’re going to expect you to act like an adult and use your own judgment. I wish you hadn’t done your…business in the car, but you were responsible. At least that’s what Dan said between babbles of anger.”

“So how _is_ everyone taking it?” she asked morosely. 

“Well,” Howie said, gently jiggling Elizabeth on her hip, “Ross laughed really hard. Your Dad said he didn’t want to know. Your mom asked abba if he taught you how to use a rubber and he said he had but he didn’t want to get into it. He’s a little sad right now, but he’ll get over it.”

Rhea grumbled and Ella gave her a pat on the knee, followed by a string of babyish syllables. “Why does he have to make everything weird?”

“Because he is weird! And because you’re his baby,” Holly pointed out, hugging Rhea’s shoulders. “You came along when he thought he wasn’t going to have a family. So it’s kind of normal for him to want to freeze you in time as his little bird.” She squeezed Rhea's middle. “You just have to show him that you can act like a grown-up. The smart way.”

Rhea finally let go of Holly, wiping her eyes. “Can I come downstairs?”

“Oh yes.” She patted Rhea’s knee as she stood, Ella in tow. “But you’re still probably grounded. For how long I can’t tell you, but you will be.”

“Ugh,” Rhea grumbled. She trudged downstairs behind Holly, sulky but with a little smile trying to tug its way into life on her lips.


	60. Splashes of Color (Egoflapbang, M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paint washes off.
> 
> Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt received through my Tumblr: Dan/Arin/Suzy. The girls, tired of Dan's gross ass hair, decide to force him to wash it by way of covering it in (body safe) paint. Results in a very messy three way!

Water-based paint, it turned out, was surprisingly sticky. Dan tried to shake it out of his hair and let out a wild war whoop as he tried to get his bearings. “Arin! What the fuck?!”

“Sorry dude,” Arin grinned, wiping his paint-stained hands. “You were getting a little grungy there.” He noticed the annoyance in Dan’s eyes and went sheepish. “It was Suzy’s idea,” he added quickly.

“Did you have to throw me under the bus? “she asked. Her hands left hot pink streaks on her jeans as she tried to tack up the paintings they’d made for charity. They ought to bring in some money for Arin’s mom’s horse rescue at the next livestream – or so they hoped. 

“But you look so good under…there’s no way to make that sound cute, never mind.” 

Arin gasped as Suzy splattered him with some of her hot pink paint, which led to him upending an entire container of green over her head. Dan leapt into the fray at that point, if only to save his own artwork from their little fight.

Somehow they ended up in a tangled, messy heap on the floor of the Grump room. Dan hand no idea which mouth was on his cock until he felt Arin’s mustache brush his thigh. And that Suzy was kissing him until she took his hand and shoved it down her pants.

Dan moaned and wriggled through the neon bright color. Yeah, this was definitely worth getting dirty for.


	61. Adore (a/b/o verse Dan and Female Ocs, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could he do but show her how much he adored them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483550) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8141047) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659836) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659920) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659929) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18660007) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18999074) and [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/19203985)

Rhea was singing, her long body arranged sideways over the quilt, her baby sister propped against her side. “You have my heart, and we’ll never be worlds apart…” 

Dan cringed and wiped his eyes. She was singing _badly_ , but she was nonetheless actually carrying a tune. God, what that did to his heart. 

He remembered what he’d been like before they were born; that once upon a time he’d thought his children would be simple extensions of himself. But Rhea and Ella were not simply bits of his spirit carried into the next generation; they were their own people. You could look at them and see what they carried of his genes; the little crook of Ella’s brow, the dark of Rhea’s hair. Ella’s giggle and Rhea’s concentration face. One of them freshly born, the other almost ready to go to college. 

God, how had Rhea’s babyhood slipped through his hands? He could still see her in his mind’s eye, giggling as he gently captured and released a firefly for her amusement. Now here she was, boxing on an Olympic level, running around on the motorcycle she’d bought for herself. He’d been obsessed with being cool at her age; Rhea was completely confident that she WAS cool.

Ella was slowly starting to gain her own personality, slowly turning into her own human being, rounding into a jolly, adorable baby who laughed herself into a hiccupping fit whenever they played peekaboo. Her eyes were unfocused as she listened to her sister sing.

Maybe it was the tears in Dan’s eyes doing that.

“It’s a lot less creepy if you’d come in and sit with us instead of watching,” Rhea said lightly, without looking up to meet Dan’s eyes. 

He rubbed his tears away. “I didn’t want to spoil the moment.”

“As if you ever could,” Rhea said, and patted the bed. What could he do but join them and show them just how much he adored them?


	62. Enjoyment (Commandersepticbang, NC-17/E)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack catches himself a Holly/Dan sandwich, enjoys it immensely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a Tumblr request: 
> 
> Green Jack somehow ended up in bed with Dan & Holly. He's a bit confused about it, but very much enjoying himself. Lots of oral sex & Jack cumming before he expects to. (Maybe the oral sex to make up for it?) Thank you!

“Woah!” Dan laughed as Jack came with a soft cry, spurting across Dan’s chin and neck. “I was not expecting that.” But he kissed the tip of his prick anyway, licked it experimentally until Jack tugged himself away. 

“Sorry,” Jack panted. His fingers were still inside Holly, who was whimpering and shivering, slicking up his palm and his bed. 

“Oh sweetie, it’s okay,” Holly panted. “It happens all the time.”

“Even to people like Dan?” was Jack intimidated? Dan found that unbearably sweet. 

“It’s happened to me like,” Dan gently popped Jack’s mouth off of his dick and took Jack’s hand, sprawling him out flat. “…Way too often when I was your age. Being a virgin at twenty totally screwed with my ability to hold it back until I took classes…this is totally breaking the mood, right?”

“Are you offering to teach me how to hold it back?” Jack asked.

Dan grinned and leaned over his vulnerable body. “If you’re good at getting Holly off, maybe.” Jack grinned up at Dan as he bet over his body. Holly waited for further instructions, kneeling beside Jack’s head. “Sit on his face, doll,” Dan instructed her. “I’m going to make good use of that ass of his.”

“Ooh,” Jack teased. “Be gentle. Got some walking I need to do tomorrow.”

Dan kissed him just once before Holly straddled his head, her knees quaking.


	63. Peaches (Septicommander) (NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly bruises as easily as a ripe peach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written for Theseusinthemaze

Holly bruises like a peach, and this is something Jack shouldn't know but he does know it, has seen with his own two eyes her skin turn dark under the powerful clasp of his stubborn teeth. 

She has holds him within her gripping arms, legs looped comfortably over his shoulders. She owns this moment, this little bit of his skin, her pink hair tangled up in his fingers, her eyes pale and rain washed as she takes him into her body. She wants nothing but to hold on for just the moment, to feel something stronger than herself run through her bloodstream. Some magic she could never access unless she was fucking Jack, some blood- sharp taste of passion that so often left her sitting dazed and bleeding on the sideline of passion.

It dizzies and rips her away from reality, sending her spinning with the plunging rhythm of his hips. Everything fades out and goes hazy and her body clasps his, primeval. It’s everything and nothing, what the only thing she’ll go into the world begging for, a shot of something forbidden, the edge of something ragged.

He follows quickly afterward and scatters her throat with raspberry hickeys.


	64. Babydoll  (a/b/o-verse; original child character)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babies turn out to be the communication bridge Jemma needs to make contact with the world around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my shared a/b/o grumpverse with [theseusinthemaze](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze). The majority of the continuity is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7724251/chapters/17604880), with my contributions being [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17710312), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921479), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921632), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18031048), [this,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7894192), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/17921305%22%22), [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211246) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18211504) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8019979) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18361207) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483334) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483385) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18483550) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8141047) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659836) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659920) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18659929) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18660007) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/18999074) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/19203985) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6371221/chapters/19316128) [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8504935) and [this!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8555389)
> 
> From a Tumblr Prompt: _Jemma discovering that her special interest is babies. Then Jemma's absolute delight in her baby sister, who is totally HER baby, never mind what the parents say!_

It was because they were desperate to convince her to talk. She’d seemed enthralled by Cammy’s baby doll, cast off scornfully as boring a few months ago. 

_Dolly_ was Jemma’s first word. The first thing that had ever held her interest for more than a minute. The first thing she could actually relate to. She was incredibly gentle and tended intently to her small plastic charge.  
More words came after that. Many more, to everyone’s relief. But the one that stuck with Jemma strongly was the first. 

 

**** 

 

Jemma understood that Howie was having another baby. She was a lot smarter than anyone was willing to give her credit for – or so she would say years later. She understood that there would be a new sister for her to play with. She was an endless font of questions and hugs and interest. 

Jemma was thrilled. A tiny baby, much like her dolls –only real, and alive.

She was the third person to hold Ella when she was born. Jemma was plainly enthralled by the tiny child; her long limbs and little elfin nose, her wide eyes and her mysterious smile. Jemma learned how to change a diaper at seven – she had to fight her abba and howie to hold the baby. Somehow her days seemed easier to get through when she had Ella to look forward to. Who else was going to teach her the names of all of the birds living outside the kitchen window? Who would tie her shoelaces and wipe her nose? She persisted in calling Ella her baby, even though she sometimes had to share her with the others.

There was a sense of purpose in this. Jemma didn’t know what that was yet – but there was a definite sense of direction to her life now. And she would try her hardest to struggle toward it and to the glowing light of her future.


	65. (Polyverse) Soon (1/1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The baby would be arriving any day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of my polyverse with Thesesuinthemaze, pevious parts of which are [here](http://theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com/post/147982794034/commanderbang-half-dressed-semi-public-sex-while) and [here](http://theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com/post/148031167369/a-very-pregnant-holly-is-serviced-in-every-which)

The baby would be coming any day. 

Arin’s response was to stock up on stuff. If he thought Holly needed it he bought it, no matter how absurd it seemed at the time. 

Suzy’s response was to pamper the loving heck out of her. Back rubs, body rubs, make-overs and everything in between.

Brian’s response was to bury himself into their finances, to work out any kinks or problems there might be before they ran into them.

Barry researched every route to every hospital in the LA area. He practiced carrying her baby bag up and down the street just in case she went into labor in public.

Ross drank more beer and cracked her up whenever he offered her some.

And Dan…

…Dan seemed afraid to do much of anything. But he loyally stayed close by, an eye on her and one on the clock, his head often in her lap.


	66. Molly (Arin/Dan/Suzy Polyverse) (G) (Dan POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly's growing by leaps and bounds. Dan tries to cope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the same Polyverse as included [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6456535)

Molly was almost a year old and Dan had no idea how to cope with the fact. Just stating her age was enough to make his heart race a little faster.

A year meant she was still his baby, but his baby could also walk. She could climb onto her dangerous little legs and toddle off in any direction she so pleased, thus giving her papa a whopper of a heart attack. 

She could say words. Whole sentences. Soon she wouldn’t need Dan to order for her at restaurants anymore.

He wanted to protect her always but the key to raising a successful adult was letting go. He knew that. It was what his folks did when he moved away to Boston for college.

And Dan would need to do it as well. 

He just hoped he had the strength of will to do it.


	67. (Two Good Witches) Belief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A four-way date makes an thoughtful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the Two Good Witches continuity!

Arin was nodding his head rapidly as Suzy explained her spellwork to him. Certain intentions had to be thrown in when you did casting work, she explained. Positivity was key. This was their first double date and he wanted to impress her desperately.

Dan had heard this many times before and wasn’t certain that Arin hadn’t either, but Arin was grinning and eating, watching Suzy animatedly explain how she does what she does.

He looked over at Holly, who still smelled like honey and cocoa and sleep and kittens. Holly who believed in the magic she performed. And Holly for whom Dan had boiled more dandelions than he thought existed on earth. He would do anything for the girl, and he knew she knew that. She would do anything for him.

He hoped Suzy and Arin would last, suddenly. It was nice not being alone in his quasi-Bewitched world anymore. 

Suzy squeezed Arin’s hand. Dan swore he saw a lovely green glow about their folded hands. One he swore he’d felt around Holly.

He understood Arin in that moment more deeply than he’d ever understood him. The magic was worth at least trying to believe in. It was definitely worth protecting.


	68. (Drawn Together Verse) Send Nudes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzy reacts to Arin and Dan's little stunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "Send nudes" video [x](https://www.instagram.com/p/BOGUDCjBD7M/?taken-by=danny__avidan). This is part of my Drawn Together verse!

_Send nudes? Really?_

Dan laughed at Suzy’s handwriting when it showed up on Arin’s cheek. “I’m never going to get that off, am I?” he grumbled.

 _It was all he could think of,_ Dan wrote back quickly. _Don’t be mad at him_

Suzy’s handwriting was on his hand now. _MY nudes are more than enough for anyone._

 _Understood_ Dan wrote back, wanting not to imagine what Suzy’s nudes looked like. If he started thinking of them he might never stop.

 _I’m sorry, babe. I’ll just limit myself to your honkers now. Your glorious yabbos._ He looked at Dan’s face, which was suddenly filled with thousands of different iterations of the word “Shut up.”. 

_Your Cans?_

He spent the rest of the day walking around with a giant middle finger scribbled on his forehead.


	69. Stitches In Time (PD-Verse, Commanderflap, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzy and Holly pick up the pieces after the events of "Lipstick and Fireflies"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Plausible Deniability-Verse Fic!

Everything is unsteady. It moves on shaky legs into the future, shambling like a zombie. 

Holly’s gestures are tender and curious; a palm placed fingers-down on Suzy’s knee, and a smile on her lips, gentle. Suzy’s kisses skirt along Holly’s jaw, and her laugh is tentative, almost pained, as they drift through the bookstore together. 

Holly tries to keep her chin up. It’s not hard to rebuild a foundation once it’s cracked, if it hasn’t cracked down to the baseline. Anything can be fixed, anyone can be loved, anything can become beautiful if you work on it for long enough.

And Suzy wears less make-up all the time.


	70. Backflips (Commandersepticbang)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly can't sleep. The guys are...less than helpful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this prompt: "The baby’s kicks are keeping me up at night." Commandersepticbang!

It was Jack, the house’s sole night owl, who found her sitting up at the kitchen table, a grumpy look on her face as she sipped tea.

He winced and pulled Holly up against his side, running a hand through her flossy hair. “Wee one keeping you awake?”

She nodded. “Keeps on high-kicking.” She ran a thumb over the slight rise of her belly, wincing as the skin shifted against her touch. “It must be Danny’s after all.”

“Dude,” Dan said from the kitchen stairway, coming down the steps while yawning and scratching his belly, “putting it that way, it could be Sung’s baby!”

She wrinkled her nose. “Two dads is more than enough,” she said. Both men watched anxiously as Holly drank her tea, until she couldn’t stand the tension anymore. “Boys,” she said. “I’m not going to explode.”

“I know!” Jack chirped.

“Totally! That can’t happen, right?”

Holly frowned, took Jack’s hand and placed it on her belly. “Come here, Dan.”

He did, and she gently splayed his palm out on the other side of her stomach. Solemnity washed over the moment as her stomach shifted between their palms, bouncing like a pinball. When she looked up Jack was grinning, and Dan’s eyes were round as saucers and glazed with tears. 

She cleared her throat and stood up after awhile. “I think I can sleep now,” she said, and looped her arms around each man’s waist.


	71. Teach (Dan/Holly) (NC-17) (Teacher/Student Play)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly and Dan exchange the experience after the last time they played student/teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for teacher/student play! Inspired by a prompt at my Tumblr.

He was wearing the I Burgie Burgie Get-Up.

Holly almost couldn’t believe it, but it worked. Dan’s impression of a detached vaguely goth youth was pretty impeccable. 

Maybe the eyeliner had melted into his brain and converted his attitude.

Holly had done her part to maintain the character; she’d worn her starchiest skirt, her primmest blouse, a pair of pumps and her hair back in a bun. He kept calling her ‘teach’ as   
she ‘corrected’ him. At least one correction involved picking up his discarded pencil by pressing a palm to his crotch. 

That resulted in him yanking Holly against his body and kissing her sloppily. And ruining her new bra by breaking the front clasp, not that she was going to complain when he tore down the bra to bite her nipple. He was louder in this character, rougher than normal, and when he got a hand up the hemline of her skirt she spread her legs and hunched into it.

She rode him at her office – no the teacher’s – desk, and as he slapped her ass and squeezed her flesh, thrusting up into her like a jackhammer. When she came he came, and when the pleasure left her aching thighs her hips stilled. Holly looked up, Dan was watching her, and his big brown eyes were once more those of her kind boyfriend.

“I think,” Dan panted, his normal voice once more in full effect, “I’ll be a schoolgirl next time.”

Holly liked that idea more than she could express.


	72. Bad Boy (Rubbercommander, Domme!Holly, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn't going to tell her how much he liked this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a Tumblr Request!

“Rosss!” Holly sing-songed from the doorway. He barely glanced up but saw that she was wearing her i-mean-business-boots. Which caused him to sprout an instant half-chub,   
but he wasn’t going to _tell_ her that.

“Did you leave the cap off the toothpaste again?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe?” he said.

“You do know what happens to bad boys who don’t put the cap back on the toothpaste, doncha?”

Oh God. She was using the birb voice. His dick got harder and he grunted. “Maybe.”

She rushed to the bed, pulling him over her knees and yanking his boxers down in a single fluid motion. He’d forgotten how good Holly’s coordination could be when her aim was true.

The first blow made him squawk and buck his hips right back into her hand, sliming her thigh up with his hardening cock. “Aww, bad boy likes his spaaanks!” She said, and popped him another good one.

Ross sighed and settled in for the long haul. When Holly was in a teasy mood there was no way to get around her.

And he wasn’t going to admit he liked it as much as he did.


	73. Mermaids Don't Belong In Nets (Commanderbang, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Holly and a rushing river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Porn Battle Prompt Stack #2, keywords: music, nature, sunshine, public.

A bluebird was singing somewhere overhead. Holly could almost see it as she tilted her head back, eyes falling closed on a soft moan as Dan’s tongue began to gently explore the softness between her legs.

She tugged on his hair. “Are you sure you won’t drown down there?”

Dan surfaced, water from the brook sluicing over his back and down his legs. He was half-submerged under the warm coursing water, and Holly was only soaked to her waist. Her bikini bottom had been discarded along with his swim trunks somewhere on the mossy bank behind them. “I’m cool! I’ll just breathe through the top of my head.”

“You can’t do that!” she laughed, toes kicking through the water.

“It’s a secret I learned in like, tantra school.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Super exclusive stuff.”

She groaned as he rested his face against her belly, staring up with starry-eyed adoration. Her fingers were soaked as they ran over his cheek.

“Let me make you come,” he whispered, Lorelei-calling her down to his secret depths.

His fingertips brushed her, barely touching, barely teasing her. She gulped air, breathed deeply. 

And let herself happily sink under the water and his spell.


	74. Lime Green (Packverse) (G) (1/1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The children of the pack go to the mall to get Holly and Suzy Mother's Day gifts. Things quickly get complicated and slightly ridiculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is sort of longficcy for a drabble collection but, since it involves only the original characters from Packverse I figured it's best suited to the collection versus a fresh fic within the GG section.

“Cammy,” Zip complained, filtering through the wad of ones her sister had passed her, “you have like, twenty bucks here!”

Cammy stuck out her chin. “I tutored Murray Carlson for four weeks for that money,” she said. “We can so get mom and Howie some stuff with that much.”

Zip grumbled, recounting the cash before stuffing it in her purse. Altogether they had roughly seventy dollars, between the money she’d made babysitting and the money Rhea had made mowing lawns and whatever they had saved from their allowances. It definitely didn’t feel like enough, not that they’d had much consistent guidance about spending money in their lives. Their parents had always argued about how big their allowances should be – Holly had insisted on frugality, Dan had a tendency to spoil them, Arin was charitable but often spent extravagantly only to regret it later, Suzy encouraged them to be industrious and earn their own cash, and Ross often taped one penny to the inside of their birthday cards with a joking message attached not to spend it all in one place.

She gently took Jemma’s hand. “Don’t let go of me, okay?”

“’Kay” said Jemma to her feet. In her free hand was an old and nearly destroyed baby doll, her absolute favorite possession.

“I can help!” Cammy insisted, shoving her wallet into the front pocket of her jeans. 

“No, Cammy, you stay close too,” Zip said. She was already worrying about keeping everyone together. 

Rhea locked the driver’s side door before going to Ella’s baby seat and helping her youngest sister out. “OK, Casper. You ready to see a mall!?”

“I wanna go to the Disney store!” shouted Ella, so loudly that her voice echoed in the parking lot. 

Jemma winced beside Zip and she gently scolded, “not so loud.” 

“Okay!” Ella said, in a barely audible whisper. Rhea rolled her eyes. 

“I swear, sarcasm runs in this family.”

Zip took Jemma and Cammy’s hands, and led them toward the air conditioned environs of the mall. She agreed wholeheartedly, but didn’t have the strength to say it.

*** 

Standing around in Sephora had always left Rhea with an uneasy feeling, as if she were walking unprepared into a giant test in a foreign language she’d never successful grasped. She poked at the row of eyeliners and lipstick while Zip badgered a floor assistant for help, Jemma hanging boredly off of her arm. Cammy was two feet away, making herself up with the tester products – green eyelids, plum lips. God, the kid was going to end up with pink eye.

Rhea hated this place; this place wasn’t _hers_ the way a boxing ring or a movie theatre or even a park was. She might as well be a shelf, she thought to herself, as the staff pointedly ignored her. Not that she cared. She was fairly sure she thought she was here to case the joint or something like that.

It was just…she didn’t _belong_ here, among the stuff that had made her mother famous. She felt like a foreign agent, spying in the perfume aisle, almost as if she were a hostile presence among the fancy dressed people surrounding her.

“I wanna be pretty,” Ella said suddenly from her arms, and Rhea suddenly met her little sister’s eyes in the mirror. She smiled in spite of herself; the rest of her siblings all vaguely resembled her and each other in some way, but she and Ella – they were clearly the offspring of Leigh Daniel Avidan.’

“Casper, you’re hella pretty. But pretty’s not the only thing you should be, or need to be, or even _want_ to be. Got it?” Rhea asked. 

“I know!” Ella said. She was nearly two and already a chipper and independent kid; Rhea didn’t fear for her like she feared for Jemma. “Rhe?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Do they sell makeup for clowns here?”

Rhea paused for just a millisecond before bursting into laughter.

*** 

Zip surfaced from the shop triumphant, with Urban Decay’s new Wicked Queen collection clutched in her hand. “Okay, that takes care of mom from me and Cammy.”

“Right,” Rhea said, her long strides echoing on the mall’s parquet floor. “The art supply shop’s up on the third floor.”

“I got mommy a lipstick!” said Ella happily, skipping to keep up with Rhea’s footfalls. At almost three she was much more of a talker than a runner. Abba had made a joke about it – she was yet another Avidan who wouldn’t be an athlete.

“What?” Zip asked, as visions of mall security taking her baby sister from her danced through her head “When did this happen?”

“While you were paying for the other stuff,” said Rhea. Ella triumphantly held out the tube of exotic-looking lipstick.

“Oh my god, Elizabeth!” Zip cried out. “LIME GREEN, Ella?”

“I think it’s pretty,” She said lifting her chin high. “And Rhe gave me the money!”

Rhea smirked at Zip, who glowered right at her. 

“Fine.” An already frazzled Zip had no room to argue.

**** 

They swallowed down milkshakes and fries at the food court. Jemma had bought a stuffed Rowlet for Holly at one of the carts and was playing with it, introducing her doll to it in soft, whispered phrases. 

“We’re down to our last forty dollars,” Zip said. 

“We should be able to do something with that,” said Cammy. “Logically, there must be thousands of things in the mall that mom and Howie would like.”

“Our parents aren’t logical.” They all knew this too well, and shared a private shudder over the fact.

 

***

 

The art store was much easier for Rhea. It brought back pleasant memories of the family sitting together coloring as a unit, of strifeless harmony. She and Zip poured through the paints for minutes; Zip found a set of pastels that she and Cammy could give Holly together, and Ella bought Holly a big box of modeling clay. Rhea kept dithering; she had special-ordered something for her mother, and Howie desserved to have something truly spectacular. Eventually, Zip walked Jemma over to the goth store neighboring the shop so she could pick out something cute but slightly creepy for their mother. Ella insisted Rhea put her down, and then she got busy playing with the shop’s enormous pit of kinetic sand.

Yeah, Rhea thought to herself. That was why she had been forced to make that special order.

Then she saw them. The deluxe set of watercolors Holly had been yearning for, the ones that cost thirty dollars, the ones she could barely afford with the money Zip had left her from their shared stash.

Sometimes she actually believed in miracles. The watercolors, tucked under her arm, Rhea approached the counter. “I think the taxidermy supplies I ordered from your website came in?” She said, producing an email from her jacket pocket.

“Of course,” the shopkeeper said, cheerfully ringing up the pastels. “What’s your name?”

“Rhea Berhow Conrad O’Donovan Hanson Avidan,” she said. 

And at his startled expression, smiled.


	75. Meet The 'Rents (Packverse) (PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea brings her college girlfriend home to meet her parents - and it turns out Holly's already 'met' Bonnie. Or at least part of her anatomy.

Rhea was nervous.

Actually, palm-sweattingly, clearly and obviously nervous. She was pacing back and forth, clomping in her sneakers, checking the front door repeatedly.

“Why didn’t you just pick her up at the airport?” asked Dan, bemusedly watching his eldest run a furrow in the carpet.

“Because she wanted to see her folks first,” said Rhea. “Is it hot in here? I’m hot as fuck…”

“Please sit down before you pass out,” Dan demanded. And, as if on cue, the doorbell rang. “We’ve all met her before, I don’t know why you’re so nervous!”

The family entire surfaced to greet this newcomer, this Bonnie, whom Rhea had gone out with in high school but fallen in love with in college. 

This Bonnie who liked to lean on a doorbell as if she were attacking it.

Rhea grabbed the door and lurched into Bonnie’s arms. “Hey, baby!” she planted a kiss on the woman’s forehead. In his daughter’s grip was a slim-boned black girl with bright red hair, freckles, beautiful eyes and an awkward smile.

“Hi!” She smiled awkwardly. “I guess you remember me?” she chewed her bottom lip and clung to Rhea for dear life.

“Yep, and I promise we won’t bite,” Suzy said. “Can I take your jacket, honey? How was the flight?” 

Suzy pried Bonnie out of Rhea’s grip, and Dan gently fanned his daughter’s flaming cheeks. “See?! I knew it’d be all right.”

It was then that Dan felt someone tugging on his sleeve – it was Holly, and she looked like she’d swallowed a fly.

“Dan, kitchen. Kitchen, NOW”

Holly was rarely this inelegant. Dan all but rushed her away as he made his excuses to the rest of the family.

“What’s wrong, Hol?” he asked when they were standing on the back porch.

Holly moaned and buried her face in her hands. “Do you remember when Rhea was eighteen and you caught her trying to flush used condoms down the toilet and then we learned stuff we didn’t want to learn about her sex life?”

“Ohh yeah. That was a hell of a year.” He wanted to pretend that most of it had been a weird fever dream.

“Well, one time I walked in on Rhea when she was supposed to be studying for finals. She was sitting on her bed and I couldn’t see anything, but when I closed the door I swear I saw a girl that looks like Bonnie throw herself out of Rhea’s window and into the bushes.”

Dan cringed. “Are you sure it was her?”

“She had a lot of bright red hair. It’s pretty hard to miss her.”

“Well, maybe it was someone else…”

“DAN I KNOW WHAT HER NIPPLE TATTOO LOOKS LIKE.” Holly was getting frantic on him. “I’m sorry, I’m just weirded out.”

“Hoboy.” Dan awkwardly hugged her. “Uh…try to repress the memory?”

She snorted. “I wish I could.”

Dan patted her shoulder. “Guess we have to go out and be parents now and pretend we know nothing about boobs.”

She smirked and pecked him on the cheek. “For now,” she said, and took his hand, leading him back into the fray.


	76. (Plausible Deniability) Human (PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wren develops into a human being. Step by Step by Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A part of Theseusinthemaze's plausible deniability universe.

**Holly**

Wren is six months old and as big as a small turkey. Holly’s fairly confident in making this assessment, as she’s carried around a live turkey before. 

Wren feels like a full on twenty pounder, these days.

They’re out on a nature hike, and Wren is strapped to her chest like a GoPro, her little hands making tiny fan shapes as she looks all around her; at the rocks and trees and hills through which they moved.

“Hey Hol,” Ross called from further up the trail, “there’s some bluebirds over here. Wanna show Wren?”

Holly locomoted in the direction of the birds, ran to be there so her daughter could see them. And when she stopped, little Wren peered over the top of the snuggli and took a long look at the birds.

She giggled as they flew around the place. Giggled and waved her tiny hands in sheer delight. Holly gasped. “Do you like the birdies, Wrenny pie? Aww, do ya?” It struck her like a bolt of lightning – that there was something of herself in this child, some part of her being carried along to the next generation.

Wren squeaked, and lurched forward, just hard enough to make Holly hold her closer to her heart.

 

**Dan**

“Wrennn we’re going to lie down and listen to muuusic!” Dan sang, dancing across the living room floor, his daughter in his arms. Wren babbled back, half-word sentences, trying to reach for her father’s ears and plant sloppy kisses on his chin. “Guess what? abba got the final mix of his new album in! You wanna listen?”

A shriek of delight as she reached for the tiny hard drive Dan held out of her reach. “Uh uh,Wren. Let’s lie down.” 

He popped the hard drive into the stereo and lay down upon the floor, the baby beside him. The air was filled with the sweet, harmonious sound of synchronicity.

Wren giggled and rolled over. She sat up and, to Dan’s delight, started rocking to the beat. This wasn’t anything new; it was how she reacted to Sesame Street. At least he was as good a musician as Big Bird.

But then there was more. Then, there was words.

“Ababa! Abababaab! DaDa!” Wren said, clapping her little hands together. 

And as she giggled for more, Dan sobbed.

 

**Ross**

The ren faire was super packed that year. Ross chalked it up to those discount weekend passes the owners had been circulating on the internet. Either way, his daughter was almost impossible to keep up with, toddling around on her growing legs, giggling whenever he called her name. He chased her all the way to the petting zoo and nearly crotched himself on a fence slat while trying to find her.

“Wren!” He grabbed her hand as she extended it to pet an animal.

Wren pulled out of his grasp. “Wanna pet the ducky, daddy!” she insisted.

The ‘ducky’ in his question was a very large and very angry looking goose, who had wandered into the petting pen from the farming exhibit.

“I don’t think he wants to be petted, Wren.”

“PET DUCKY!” She insisted, and lunged for it with every ounce of her toddler strength. The goose squawked and lunged at them both.

Then they were running away again. But at least they were running away together.

 

**Arin**

The baby is a soft, small thing, curled up on his chest, sleeping on and off, her head resting comfortably against him.

For some reason, she liked him. Arin had no idea why – why she found him comfortable, soft, easy to sleep on. But there were some days when the baby simply needed an uncle Arin fix.

And if it kept her from shrieking the night away, he’d be glad to help out.

 

**Suzy**

She’s going to teach Wren how to somersault, someday. 

Suzy sits and watches the girl roll over, rock on her knees, get into crawling position and rock – not quite moving in pursuit of anything, bur preparing to.

She’s going to be a person now – fully grown, fully moving. 

And Suzy can’t wait to see the change in her.

 

**Morgan**

Wren’s about four when she comes to Morgan and asks them to color with her. 

It’s a very specific request; she wants Morgan and none of the other adults.

Much later, Morgan finds out that they’re the only one who knows how to color inside the lines, but for Morgan it’s a high complement. Wren is a very discerning child.

And a very interesting person.


	77. Hunger (Commanderbang, PG-13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looks really hot in those shorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was challenged to write 100 words on the word 'hunger', and this is what I came up with!

She looked really hot in shorts. 

That was the most ridiculous notion to have while staring at one of his best friend's wife's Instagram, looking at her latest selfie and wondering what it would be like to kiss her, taste her, dig his teeth into her neck or bury his face between her legs. Those vacuum packed shorts were leaving nothing to the imagination – yeah, they were gonna go into his spank bank. He was so fucked, and not in the way he desperately needed to be.

Dan snapped the laptop shut with a groan, feeling like a starving man.


	78. Heat (Egobang, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heats make Dan cranky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was challenged to write 100 words on the theme 'G-rated A/B/O', and this is what I came up with!

"My whole face is on fire."

 

Arin made a sympathetic sound and tossed Dan a cold washrag. Groaning, he pressed his face into the chilly material, mumbling quietly.

 

“The worst of it is almost over,” Arin said, scraping away at his egg-encrusted frying pan. Dan had devoured breakfast and yet he was already eyeing the fridge.

 

Fucking hormones.

 

“Thank you, oh masterful alpha,” Dan said, grabbing and peeling a banana, “I wouldn’t have noticed my own symptoms were it not for you.”

 

“Man, heats make you cranky as fuck, bro,” Arin said. 

 

“Acknowledged,” Dan said, then took a big bite.


	79. Influences (Commanderbang, PG-13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan gives Holly his favorite erotic novel to read.
> 
> Sadly she doesn't find it to be too erotic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt "Dan/Holly. Dan gives Holly his favorite weird erotica (think Penelope's Punishment). Instead of getting turned on, she critiques it."

“What did you think?”

His smile was enormous, and Holly’s expression must have betrayed her – well, distaste. She took a big slug of coffee and put the book between them, pushing it into Dan’s hands. “At least it’s not Fifty Shades.”

Dan scoffed. “I’m not THAT mainstream.” But he peeked down at her. “You really didn’t like it?” He huffed as her ankle landed upon his knee. 

“Rodrigo is an ass. I don’t care if he has a super huge penis – he’s a giant ass with no sense of humor.”

“But he rescues girls from the bounding mane with his skills and his heart! AND his dick!”

Holly made a face. “I know this was a big influence on you, honey…”

“Oh no. When you call me honey it means you’re gonna try to let me down easily….”

“…But it just doesn’t turn me on.”

Dan blinked at her, getting shaky, tentative – the way he always got whenever he was told that his big idea might be faulty. “I…okay.”

Kindness filled her gaze. “Why don’t we pack up a picnic and go out to the park? And…see what happens?”

She wasn’t good at flirting. But his whole face lit up at the very suggestion.


	80. (Plausible Deniability) Tart (PG, Original Characters)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan can't help but think that Wren looks like her father. Especially when the kid makes that face...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of Theseusinthemaze's Plausible Deniability universe. Collection forthcoming!

Wren was very smart for her age. This was what Dan proudly boasted whenever he was in Morgan’s presence, and Morgan – smirking all the time – would simply nod their head and ask him to pass the salt. Wren was a beautiful toddler, and about as bright as any other girl her age – okay, maybe slightly brighter when it came to some things - but sometimes that Dan-level naivety would pop right out.

Point of interest.

Morgan was showing Wren how to cook – a subject that the child was developing an interest in, because she honestly considered it a form of magic. How did apple sauce happen? Magic! So Morgan sat Wren on the kitchen counter and showed her the general basics of cooking, carefully measuring things, carefully setting them out. They cut two lemons right in half and started to carefully juice them. 

But Wren’s eyes were focused on the sliced up fruit. “Eat?” she asked.

The fruit was halfway to her mouth before Morgan could intervene. “NO, don’t eat!”

Dan raced into the room two seconds later to the sound of his daughter’s outraged howling. Morgan had gotten her a juice pack to wash the flavor from her mouth, and Wren was glaring at her resentfully, as if she’d been betrayed by Morgan themselves instead of a slice of citrus.

“What happened?”

“Lemons happened.”

Later in life, whenever Wren would express her love of lemon in front of Morgan, they would laugh heartily. Her brow would furrow up and she’d slug her lemonade or bite into a piece of cake and manage to look quite confused. 

In Wren, at that moment, Morgan could only see her father, only see hopeless innocence refracting back at her.


	81. Missionary (Commanderbang, R)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She just wants to see his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was challenged to write 100 words on the word 'missionary', and this is what I came up with!

“Tonight,” Holly said plaintively, “I want to see your face.”

The corner of Dan’s mouth turned up. “That’s some cupid and psyche shit,” he said. “It’s like I’m coming to you in the dead of the night in a clown mask.”

She made a face and pinched the tip of his nose as he slid up between her legs. “You know Greek mythology?”

“And clowns.” Dan’s hand slid between them for guidance. He slipped head deep inside of her and laughed like Bozo the clown.

She laughed and pulled him down and into her, both hands tight upon his hips.


	82. Loser (commanderraptor, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin's game of Trivial Persuit isn't going to plan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt, "Drunk Arin playing trivial pursuit with Holly on his lap, he's got a face full of tits & she's riding his dick as he keeps getting questions wrong."

“The Goonies!” She panted.

Arin shook his head and shoved his sweaty face between her breasts. “No, that’s the wrong movie.” She flexed herself around him and he hammered his fist into the table. “COME ON I CAN’T CONCENTRATE,” he yelled.

She rolled her hips and laughed. “What’s wrong? Am I too hot to take?”

“Like you don’t know,” he whined miserably. She cooed and loomed over him, pecking his fuzzy chin. 

“Do you want to call it a tie?” she rose up and down on him, just once.

He shivered. Inside of her, he trembled. 

But his eyes grew steely and he said, “History...”


	83. Coming Around (Commanderflap, NC-17, Analingus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzy has totally converted Holly to butt stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt: _Holly getting eaten out from behind, so there's cunnilingus and analingus all mixed up in one wet, sloppy package!_

She was squirming uncontrollably between the hands that were gripping her, the warm mouth that was latched to her sex unrelentingly stimulating her clit. A muffled laugh sounded from between her legs as a long, wet stripe was licked from her clit to her taint. When it poked at her unyielding hole, Holly yelped and shivered.

“I think you’re a little bit into butt stuff after all,” Suzy said, surfacing to pull back her dark hair and wink at Holly, who had flung a concerned look down when the stimulation had stopped. Flushed, overheated, and trembling, Holly could do nothing but nod eagerly.

Another muffled laugh came from Suzy as she slipped back into place. There was a tongue circling Holly’s soft hole, then darting swiftly through the tight ring of it. 

She grabbed onto the doorframe and sobbed, and one of her hands came back and around to hold tight to her lover’s head, the only anchor she had to the real world.


	84. Good Girl (Egobang, NC-17, Genderplay)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin's wearing pink panties under his pajama pants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompts egobang, good girl

Arin was wearing pale pink panties under his pajama pants. Dan hadn’t expected that when the make-out session had begun, but now that they were this far into the session, with Arin groping him through his clothing and his hand under Arin’s shirt, feeling warm, soft flesh, Dan wasn’t going to say no.

“Do you want me call you baby girl?” he whispered

Arin nodded softly, sinking to his knees. Dan was hard before Arin toggled the zipper down, before he pulled his cock free with an awe-dazed expression on his face.

Arin took him between his lips, tongue exploring against the head gently, curiously. Dan’s breath soughed out of his lungs, like a sob, like a prayer. 

“Good girl,” Dan whispered when he had oxygen again, a soft hiss that came from somewhere deep within himself. Arin’s expression was sweet and tame as he took him back down his throat, again and again.

Dan did nothing, moved not an inch, letting him learn. Playing with Arin’s hair, silently overwhelmed by the sensation and the moment.


	85. I Knew You Cared (In-Universe NSP, PG, Ninja Ship Party)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny so knew he cared...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt "Ninja Ship Party, 'If You're Bored, Wanna Have Sex?'"

Well, it was enough to get Ninja Brian’s attention. He actually flipped the front page of Murders Weakly down and raised an eyebrow.

Danny placed both hands on his hips and added commandingly, “yes! You heard me correctly – let’s make the beast with two backs.”

Brian’s expression had remained utterly flat, but now it took on a fresh character – one of an insulted man. 

“Ninja Brian, this is quite a wound to my pride,” complained Danny. “In the amount of time it’s taken you to hesitate I could be swimming in bra models! Or at least an Instagram hottie!”

Ninja Brian said nothing. Did nothing. One eyebrow had gone sky-high, but he’d absolute not bothered to move a muscle. The same couldn’t be said for Danny, who stomped his feet. He looked ready to burst into tears right there and then in the middle of the Lovenasium.

Ninja Brian sighed and rolled his eyes. Getting to his feet, he took Danny by the hand and dragged him off to bed. 

“I knew you cared,” Danny sighed, two seconds before Brian punched him square in the nose.


	86. I Don't Care (Commanderraptor, M, Infidelity)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a terrible sin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt, commanderraptor, "I don't care if it's wrong."

The streak of blond in his hair is a blatant reminder that what they were doing was a terrible, terrible sin. 

Holly turns her head, trying to blot out memory and sensation. She wants this, though it fills her with anxiety and shame, and her body is steamy hot as his fingertips find her. His ratlike teeth, blunt and small, dig cleverly into her skin, trying to leave behind marks.

“Don’t,” she begs. “Don’t. Ross will know, Suzy will see…”

“I don’t care,” he mutters into her neck, biting down hard enough to bruise. “I don’t care.”


	87. Staying (Commanderdoop, Unplanned Pregnancy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's staying, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt "Commanderdoop, I'm Pregnant."

Barry’s mouth works soundlessly for ten minutes after Holly’s revelation. By the time he comes back to himself enough to actually form a sentence, Holly looks miserable. 

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I thought the condom was fine. I…I know I’ve always said I don’t want to have one. I’ll be a terrible mom but my mind’s working a million miles an hour and I don’t know what to do.” Her hands were shaking slightly. “I don’t know what to do, Barry.”

He takes her hands in between his. They were so bigger than hers, but they were faultlessly gentle. “Holly.”

“Ross had a vasectomy last year,” she blurts out, then looks down, embarrassed by her choice to blurt that out. “It’s yours.”

“Holly,” he says softly, resting his lips against the top of her head. “I’m so happy.”

“I’m scared,” she admits quietly.

“I know,” he envelopes her with his arms, pulls her into the warm safety of his chest. “I am too. But I won’t leave. I promise you I won’t leave.”

That’s all she needs to know for the moment.


	88. Pay Attention (Ninjaraptor, Light D/S, NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arin is a good pupil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt ninjaraptor, "I'll Be Good To You"

“You’re not good for anyone,” Brian pointed out quite cheerfully. Arin all but rolled his eyes as he shimmied in place, his big eyes wide and needy. 

“I’ll prove to you how good I can be. I promise!” Arin said.

“Well, if you insist,” Brian sighed, unzipping his pants. Arin’s eyes widened as his cock emerged, sticky and radiating heat, from his fly. Brian slapped his cheek with it, just once. 

“Pay attention,” he said. “I’m going to show you just once how I like it.”

Arin kept his eyes wide, a smile on his face, and Brian’s hand began to stroke.


	89. Clever Touch (Commandersepticbang, NSFW, Fingering)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She doesn't know how they can both fit in there at the same time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written for the prompt "commandersepticbang, the boys both have lovely, long fingers, and they can go into the most *interesting* of places in their favorite gal, if ya follow.."

“I have no idea how you can both fit in there.” Holly was naked, blushing, her nipples hard and her thighs squeezing tight around two long-fingered hands.

“Why? It’s not your nose,” Jack pointed out. Dan nudged her.

“I bet we could both fit our fingers in Holly’s nose, if we really tried,” he said breezily. Then he was twisting his knuckles, trying to find a sensitive spot within her. Holly held on to his leg, sighing gustily.

“I’m not going to let you pick my nose,” she panted.

“That’s for the best,” Dan said, as if it were the saddest tragedy he could conjure to mind.

Jack laughed, his long fingers swirling over her clit. Holly couldn’t manage words. She kicked Dan in the thigh by mistake and he let out a grunting laugh, kissing up and down her neck.


	90. Please (Commanderbang, Chastity Play, NC-17)

Holly felt chafed. There was no tasteful way to put it. Patting her lover’s head, she mumbled, “Dan?”

“Mph?” Dan’s face was buried thoroughly between her legs, so the sudden loss of stimulation made her thighs jerk and the light catch the arousal on his lips.

“Sweetie, I’m starting to get a little….” She searched for the right word, “gritty.” And pressed together her knees again.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Dan blurted out, shifting away from her sex. “Do you want me to do something different?”

She pressed her knees together on either side of his long, smooth torso. “Come up here,” she said, and he slithered upward, all sexy rock star grins, though when she felt the press of warm metal against her belly she remembered her role and felt the heat of him jerk.

“Would you do anything for me?” she asked, looking into his dazed eyes.

“Anything,” he said. His cock dripped and jerked through the cage, “God, anything. I’d even chop my cock off for you at this point. Just…please?” he whispered.

She cupped him then and, quite involuntarily, his hips jerked, brushing his clad cock against her hand. He was dripping wet, coating her palm, making her tingle in spite of the fact that she felt utterly incapable of performance. She brushed the head of his cock with her thumb and knew he could feel it, overaroused, trapped within the metal cage. Her breast fluttered; her heart lurched. She wanted him, simple and truly.

“Please,” he whimpered, “please.”

She smiled as she unlatched the straps holding the contraption together.


	91. Homemade (Commandersepticbang fluff)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holly teaches Jack and Dan how to make apple pie.

“You never learned how to make apple pie?” Holly was brandishing a handful of brown sugar as if it were the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate. 

Dan shrugged. Holly had wisely stationed him with the apples and he’d just finished peeling, coring, washing and chopping the last of the twelve she needed. “I’m bad in the kitchen. My mom didn’t cook, my grandma didn’t cook, the au pair didn’t cook…”

 

“Then what’d your folks hire her for?” Jack blew a puff of flour out of his nose, crimping the last edge of the bottom crust. 

 

“They didn’t really hire her,” Dan shrugged. “They both worked and needed somebody to watch Dana and I for the afternoon, she didn’t have money to live on her on by herself. So we compromised.”

 

“Well, you’re gonna learn from someone and I guess it’s gonna be me,” said Holly. “I won’t live with a man who can’t cook.”

 

“Fine,” Jack said, sweeping the counter clean of flour dust, carefully trimming his . “But I reserve the right or order the biggest, fattest pizza every time he fucks up.”

 

Dan’s honking laugh and Holly’s patient sigh suggested that the number of times Dan would nearly burn down the kitchen would be numerous.


	92. Save Me (Handwriting/Soulmate Verse, Brian and Dan, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan asks for help. Brian gives it. 
> 
> Unfortunately.

Dan calmly reached for the sharpie and scribbled a couple of notes on his upper arm. “Boring meeting. Save me ASAP.”

A few minutes passed by before he heard from Brian. “So I hear you saying you want me to run in there wearing a thong.”

“Brian. No.”

“So by that you meant ‘Brian, yes!’ I understand how that might confuse you since you’re always rather distracted, but perhaps if you think I don’t understand everything you say, especially because we’re caught in this Vulcan mind melt of a situation…”

“What?”

“Just humor me. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Dan switched colors and immediately tried to contact Suzy. “Brian’s going to bum rush this meeting. Save me.”

“I can’t hon,” she answered. “We’re at the vet’s! It’s time for everyone’s shots.”

“Oh crap,” Dan sighed. Two seconds later the door creaked open and there stood Brian, who was wearing a tutu. And a mask.

“So, I understand you’re interested in investing in Ninja Sex Party,” said Brian, who strutted to the head of the table, fully confident.

Dan sank behind his seat with a groan and crossed everything he could cross, hoping that it all would turn out well in the end.


	93. Untitled Holly/Dan/Barry Drabble (NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some quick, meaningless porn.

Her hands were buried in Barry’s hair while he thrust up into her. Holly screwed her eyes tightly shut, her face a mask of lust that could be mistaken for pain, and Dan made a querulous noise as he came up behind her, worriedly kissing her shoulder, trying to ask her without words if this was ok, if he was hurting her and needed him to stop.

“Don’t,” she begged through her teeth. “Keep going keep going keep going.”

Dan kissed her and Barry buried his face in her throat as she felt the gentle prodding of Dan against her.


	94. Pretty Promises (Packverse, OCs, PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea and Ella race off to save Jemma from a premature marriage. But are they too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the Packverse universe!

It was five in the morning when Rhea’s cell phone rang. She moaned and raked her hair back, grunting as Bonnie elbowed her in the back of the neck while rolling over. Barely managing to answer, she mumbled into the receiver, “someone had better be dead.”

“Rhea?” Ella’s voice sounded sadder than anything Rhea had ever heard in her life. She jackknifed up in bed. 

“El? What’s going on?” Rhea pulled her shirt back on, her head still a little dazed from her wine-soaked celebration the evening before. It wasn’t every day that ones’ sister graduated from college.

“It’s Jemma!” Ella said. “I just saw her climb out her bedroom window and get into Dakota’s car and I don’t know where they’re going!”

“Dakota? Her boyfriend, Dakota?”

"Her boyfriend the Easter bunny," Ella said, sniffling. Even now she was trying to make a joke. “Her boyfriend Dakota, who else?”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” said Rhea. “I’ve just got to uh….get dressed.” Bonnie snored beside her. She hung the phone up, kissed Bonnie’s temple and left a note with her phone number on the bedside table.

Sneaking past her roommates and to the safety of her bike provided a far less dangerous minefield. 

*** 

Rhea’s old skills weren’t as rusty as she feared; that trellis by her sister’s room could still support her weight, and a bottle-cap opener slipped under the frame of the window would still give her enough space to jimmy it open. Ella helped her in and closed the window, and Rhea tried to look cool as she straightened her posture.

“What direction did they go in?” she asked. Ella pulled her back down by the lapels of her leather jacket, then pulled a twig from her hair. 

“Toward East Street. I even got his license plate.” She showed Rhea the note she’d made on her phone.

Rhea squinted at the paper before her in disgust. “MSTRBTR?” 

“That’s what it said.” Ella shrugged innocently. “He really likes to fish.”

“Right,” Rhea said. “Did you tell any of the parental units?”

“Are you kidding? They’d eat Dakota for breakfast! I called Zip but her phone went to voicemail and Cammy’s with Cassidy on their trip. Please, we need to find them!”

Rhea sighed. “Do you still have the helmet abba gave you to wear when you ride behind me?”

Ella nodded. She dug through a pile of clothing on the floor of her pretty messy room (like way messier than hers used to be, Rhea thought to herself) until she produced a bright pink motorcycle helmet plastered all over with daisy and rose-shaped stickers. She strapped it on. 

“Do you think you can climb down?” Rhea asked, and her sister nodded enthusiastically. “Okay, Casper, let’s go!”

She only noticed when they were on the back of her bike zooming eastward that Ella was still wearing her I Love Lucy pajamas.

**** 

Rhea ignored several speed limits as Ella used her phone to Google the nearest justice of the peace on her phone. Not that her little sister was much of a complainer.

“WHEE! GO FASTER!” Ella demanded, kicking the side of the bike. She had a good sense of balance, so they didn’t go over sideways, but Rhea still cursed through her nose.

“Where do you think they went?”

“My phone says the only place that does licenses all the time is City Hall, but they’re closed. Maybe they went to Las Vegas?”

“Maybe.” But Las Vegas didn’t allow underage marriage, and they were too far from other southern states to make a run for it. They hadn’t taken a minute to stand back, to search their sister’s room for signs she was packing. Rhea didn’t think she was making a serious move, now that she put a little bit of rational hindsight to work. Jemma was, for all of her recent rebellion, a creature of their small family; she likely wanted to be back Maybe they were being presumptive about Jemma’s goal for the evening, but Rhea didn’t say anything to her little sister. She kept her eyes peeled, and wondered when and if she’d see her sister?

Had Jemma taken her cell phone? 

Shit, should she pull over and try the most obvious thing possible? 

Near the highway onramp she pulled over, into the parking lot of a twenty-four hour diner.

The phone rang twice before her sister picked up. 

*** 

Jemma and Dakota were visibly giddy when they arrived, and Rhea bit back her anger and her worries as she put her bike on the back of his truck. Ella sat awkwardly between them during the long ride, staring at her phone while the young couple held hands and Rhea stewed.

There was indeed a new ring on her sister’s hand.

It was a credit to the encroaching power of adulthood that Rhea hadn’t hauled off and punched the guy square in his jaw. Dakota dropped them off a few blocks away, and Rhea dragged her bike along beside her. “Jem,” she said, “what’re you thinking? How are you going to explain this to mom and dad?” 

“Explain what?” Rhea made an incredulous sound. “We didn’t get really married,” Jemma explained. “We promised we would. You should’ve seen us; we stood next to the dam and held hands, and he gave me his class ring...” Jemma held her hand up.

Rhea gave it a look, smiled wanly. “I didn’t think?”

“What didn’t you think? That I was like you?” Jemma tilted her head, studied her sister for the first time.

The night air went quiet, and Rhea raked a hand through her hair. “Jem…”

“Have you heard the one about the elephant and the peanut?” asked Ella.

“I love you, you know I do. You’ve been one of the best people I know. But I’m not a baby anymore.” They stopped in front of the house. “That’s why I like Dakota. He treats me like I’m a whole person.”

The implication was there. He didn’t treat her like someone who needed to be fixed. He saw her as a person first. “You’re still going to go to school, aren’t you?”

“Nothing’s going to stop me from being a nurse. But I deserve more too..” She ruffled Ella’s anxious head. “What about the peanut, Ellie?”

“Oh,” the ten year old said. “The elephant said ‘I’m so glad you came out of your shell!.’ And he ate him.”

“That’s morbid, Caspar,” said Rhea. But she smiled and led her sisters up to the back porch. The sun was coming up, and they’d just barely beaten their hopefully clueless parents to the day’s first cup of coffee. A good start to a new day.


	95. Abba (Dan and OC fic, Plausible Deniability, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being Janet's abba is different from being Wren's abba.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the Plausible Deniability universe! Featuring spoilers from same!

Being Janet’s abba is different from being Wren’s abba. Besides the obvious fact that Wren was gregarious and outgoing, while Janet was clingy and reserved.

“How’s the baby doing?” he asks rhetorically, pulling the child up and out of the attached crib, letting her rest upon Dan’s chest. Janet’s eyes are big and blue as they studyd his face gravely. “I’m going to make you smile if it kills me,” he says, and tickles her under the chin. There’s a smile then, one that’s accompanied by the curious patting of tiny fingertips. A giggle surfaces. Another little laugh, and a happy toss of the head.

Janet buries her little face in his neck, her little fists flexing on either side of his neck and Dan lets out a little sigh. “If you’re good today, I’ll read you more unicorn stories.”

The happy little squeak he gets in response is all the reward he needs.


	96. Statuesque (egoflapbang, shoe and foot fetish, PG-13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzy shows off her new shoes, and the boys are kinda into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this fic contains some shoe and foot fetish material within it!

“What do you think?”Suzy turned from the bedroom mirror, posed before them consciously, coyly, lifting the hem of her black lace dress up, then raising her foot and twisting the ankle slightly, showing off her monstrously tall platform heels, spikes glimmering along the leather straps holding them together. “They’re new! From Charla’s line.” 

“Uh, they’re super cool,” Dan said.

“Really cool,” Arin echoed. He shifted his jacket across his lap and coughed into his fist.

“Are you sure?” she said. “I don’t know. Do you think I could go any higher?”

“Maybe?” Danny asked. Arin gave his best friend a look and shifted against the bed.

“You think so? They don’t make me look too tall?” she asked, pouting. Her toes had been painted with an iridescent black polish that glimmered in the light. Dan made a soft wheezing noise and she raised an eyebrow.

“No! They make you look statuesque! Like a really pretty…statue?” Dan said. He was staring at her feet again. He squeezed his knees together and winced.

“Hmm…” She shrugged. “I guess if you both like them then that’s good enough for me! I’m going to go put my makeup on. Be ready when I get out!” She stomped off to the bathroom, her bottom wiggling with an appealing sway.

“Dude,” Arin whispered when she was gone, “since when do you have a foot thing?”

“I do not,” Dan said, groaning, lying down across Arin and Suzy’s bed, “it’s not the feet I’m into, it’s what’s ATTACHED to the foot. Including your wife and all of her delectable, soft places.”

Arin considered Dan’s words for a moment. Then “I’m into her feet,” he said, his face perfectly straight for a full minute before Dan burst into laughter, burying his face into the pillow and giggling at Arin’s boldness.


	97. Do It Again (Packverse, OCs, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ella learns how to ride her bike! Well...sort of learns.

“RHEA! I’M DOING IT!”

Rhea looked up from where she’d been carefully strapping Jemma into her bike helmet to see Ella peddling her bike, her four-year-old legs sending it careening over the grass and onto the concrete of the pavement.

“ELLA! Stay on the sidewalk!” Holly yelled from her own position on the curb. She was strapping roller skates on. Jemma had wanted to learn how to skate, and Holly was willing to help her seven year old stay upright as they made their way. It was supposed to be Rhea’s job helping her with the bike, but Ella was never one to sit patiently by and wait for help.

“I AM ON THE SIDEWALK!” Ella yelled back, only to lose track of what she was doing and crash right into the Donaldson’s bushes.

Rhea was sprinting toward her, stomping even in her bare feet. “Are you okay?”

Ella surfaced among the many branches giggling. “I wanna do it again!” she yelled.

“You’re so weird, Casper,” she complained, but helped her sister out of the bushes anyway.


	98. Dolphin Show (ninja flap party) (PG)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian takes Dan and Suzy to the Aquarium and they end up quite distracted.

Dan could watch the seahorse tank for hours.

Brian knew this; in fact he once timed how long it took to shift him away from the seahorses to the seal enclosure. Fifteen minutes. The guy just thought seahorses were neat. 

“It’s bad enough I lost Suzy at the ray tank,” Brian complained lightly, wrapping his arms around Dan’s midsection. 

“Is the dolphin show closed?” Dan wondered. Brian sighed. 

“Daniel, the dolphin experience is one I wish to share with those closest to me,” he said.

“I know,” Dan said, his expression deadpan. “Your respect for dolphins is infinite.”

“They are helpful and intelligent sea creatures.”

Suzy nodded wisely as she arrived on the scene. “And they totally love to fuck.” Her tone of voice was so identical to Dan’s that it was almost spooky, and Brian could feel how damp her hands still were from the ray tank when they slid into one of his.

“Yes,” Brian said flatly, his eyes gleaming. He kissed Dan between the shoulder blades and pulled him toward the saltwater touch tank. “Come on, birthday boy, let’s feel up some horseshoe crabs.”

“You could not have said that in a less appealing way,” Dan said. But he was grinning, his other arm looped around Suzy’s waist.


	99. Arriving Nowhere (Soulmates-Verse, Septicbang, Implied Commandersepticbang) (NC-17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Jack didn't plan their first solo union...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Theseus' Soulmates-verse!

Dan didn’t consciously make the decision. One minute he was listening to Jack talk about taking Holly out for breakfast in the morning, the next they were kissing, messily, his hands tucked into Dan’s thick, heavily curled hair.

They stumbled to the chair. Scraping half-touched turned into full-on teasing, and full-on teasing turned into Jack desperately blowing Dan in the middle of the kitchen as if his life depended on it. Pleasure curled through Dan, echoed through Jack, building and building, until Dan was writhing and yanking at his own hair, trying desperately not to come.

Jack took the decision from his hands, came up gasping, his hand working frantically over Dan’s cock, driving him the last few inches he needed to ride over the line to come. The orgasm that floored Dan made Jack come all over the floor without being touched, made Holly moan like a zombie upstairs.

They were too exhausted to move, even when Holly poked her head downstairs, peering down at them.

“I was having a dream,” she muttered, “A _great_ dream about a dragon. And then I woke up, because I came. Twice.”

Dan picked his own curl off of his tongue. “Do you want us to help?”

She groaned and stomped her way back to the bedroom.

Since there was nothing either of them could do, they stumbled like zombies to reorganize themselves. Before Dan pulled his clothing on, Jack’s tongue traced its way across the name etched upon Dan’s body. Satisfaction and peace filled up Dan like air, like water.


	100. Blue Sequins (Commanderbang, NC-17, Crossdressing + Pegging)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dress is made of blue sequins.

The dress is made of blue sequins. She stitches it for him by hand, with careful marks and leftover bits of the latest Sexbang outfit. 

He does the hair himself – straightening it out until it’s a lion’s mane. The make-up is too heavy; he hasn’t put on his own eyeliner In a very long time, but she doesn't make a remark. The heels he picks are gargantuan, and Holly pouts because she can’t reach his lips to kiss him.

He’s prepared himself well for the occasion, by the time he’s sticky from her sweat and kisses, still wet from where she’s licked him like a chunk of hard candy, pink and tender from her bite on the inner parts of his thighs. The plug is wide, made of baby-blue silicone, and his body _gives_ when she gently pulls it free, sucking all the air from his body.

Her cock is six-inches long, made of coal-colored silicone, and slick when it brushes the back of his knee. Dan grabs the edge of the table and grits his teeth. The sensation of flowering open fills his mind. Pleasure makes him soar and shout, his makeup running and his body bucking wildly, desperately back into the strap-on. He shouts when he comes toward the ceiling, into the overhead lights.

Holly comes with a shuddering moan and leans against his back. He doesn’t have to hold himself up, or still. Dan is babbling and drooling, his hips and belly shuddering against the table, and she kisses his hot red face, not caring that she's smeared her face with his ruined eyeliner.


	101. Tiny (G) (Molly May Verse)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's so tiny...

The baby was so tiny. That was all that registered in the back of Dan’s head the first time he held her. “She’s so small. What if I drop her? What if she gets sick? What if…” The world was huge outside of their front door, and he was beyond afraid of what it could do to her.

“Molly will be fine,” said Suzy. Her eyes were drowsy, half-opened, and she was ready to go back to sleep as soon as she could.

Dan nodded, for her sake. But he kept worrying anyway. She was so tiny. How was she going to survive?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always taking drabble request on my tumblr, [devilgate-drive!](http://devilgate-drive.tumblr.com/)


End file.
